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Should I take my parent out of assisted living during COVID-19?

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Assisted living can be a wonderful way to ensure that loved ones get the care they need as they age.

Many assisted living and skilled nursing centers offer a robust level of care while also doing what they can to ensure that those who live there are able to retain some independence and live life as “normally” as possible.

However, the COVID-19 pandemic has radically altered how assisted living facilities can operate. State and federal guidelines regarding the management of care centers have severely restricted visits with family members and even hampered how much residents can see and talk with each other within the facilities.

In fact, these restrictions have led many families to think about removing their mom or dad from long-term care to help ensure that loved ones aren’t isolated and lonely while they wait out the pandemic.

Is removing a loved one from assisted living during COVID-19 something you have been considering? Or maybe you’ve been thinking about placing mom or dad in assisted living, but during the pandemic you’re not certain it’s a good idea?

Here are a few questions you might want to ponder:

  • If you take a loved one out of long-term care, how will he or she receive the necessary care? Regular visits from an at-home care provider could be one way to ensure that your loved one’s daily needs are met during COVID-19. Or perhaps you will be providing the care yourself. Either way, you’ll want to have a plan in place before you decide to move mom or dad — and one that includes where your loved one will stay.
  • Are you worried about your loved one’s state of mind? Loneliness can have drastically negative consequences for older adults. If you fear that your loved one spends too much time alone due to COVID-19 restrictions, bringing them home — where kids and grandkids can pop by any time for a socially distanced visit — might be a good choice.
  • What are your long-term care facility’s policies? If your loved one is currently in assisted living, check to find out what policies and procedures are currently in place regarding visitation, infection prevention and other issues. This article from NextAvenue includes other great questions to ask a current or prospective long-term care facility.
  • Do you have a long-term lease set up? If you’re locked into an agreement of any kind, you’ll want to think about the potential costs of leaving early. You’ll also want to consider whether your loved one can be readmitted to the assisted living facility down the road.
  • What will you do when the pandemic is behind us? When COVID-19 has run its course, or when governments allow the return of some of the freedoms of yesteryear, will your loved one continue to live at home? Will you need to line up a long-term home or apply for admission to assisted living? Will you continue to make use of at-home care to provide for your loved one in the comfort of home?

The pandemic and its related lockdowns haven’t had nearly the effects on at-home care that they’ve had on assisted living centers. Here at Take My Hand At-Home Care in Lynden, we certainly are being cautious to avoid spreading COVID-19, but we’re generally able to continue as before, caring for people in their homes and helping them conduct essential duties throughout Whatcom County. Government restrictions on health care facility operations, on the other hand, have forced larger changes.

Are those changes big enough to cause you to consider caring for a parent or loved one at home? The choice is yours, and we hope this post has given you a few good considerations to ponder.

Related: What are the differences between communal living and at-home care?

How to visit loved ones during the COVID-19 pandemic

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It’s natural to want to visit our elderly loved ones. We do love them, after all, and thus we want to spend time with them. Plus, we know that loneliness and social isolation are unhealthy for older adults, so we want to ensure our elderly moms and dads aren’t neglected during the COVID-19 pandemic.

However, the disease does more strongly affect older adults. While the overall hospitalization rate for COVID-19 is quite low (121 people per 100,000, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), the rate is nearly triple for people 65 and older. Thus, we want to do what we can to ensure that our elderly loved ones aren’t affected.

In an era of physical distancing, mask wearing and constant sanitization, how can we spend time with loved ones while also helping to ensure their health and safety?

It’s possible to visit elderly loved ones here in Whatcom County, but it takes a little extra caution and care. Below are a few essential ways to show care for your mom or dad while visiting.

Remember that the virus can be spread by people without symptoms. Even if you feel perfectly fine, it’s possible that you’re infected with the novel coronavirus and thus can spread it to an elderly loved one. Think about where you’ve been recently and what interactions you might have had through which you could have picked up the virus. It’s probably best not to visit mom or dad if you’ve been all over the place out and about.

Wear a mask. Feel free to smile and wave without a mask from a safe distance away, but if you’re going to be having a conversation close to your loved one, it would be a good idea for both of you to mask up and play it safe. Person-to-person spread via respiratory droplets is thought to be the primary way that the virus spreads.

Meet outside. Given how the virus spreads, the likelihood of the virus spreading outdoors is much lower than it is inside, according to research. If you have the opportunity to visit on the porch, in the yard or in a public park, take it. The weather is beautiful in the Pacific Northwest this time of year, so it’s a great time to spend time outside chatting or playing a brain-boosting game with your loved ones.

Don’t stay too long. According to the CDC, the risk of spreading COVID-19 increases the more closely people interact with each other and the longer that interaction lasts. Planning what you want to talk about before you arrive at mom or dad’s house can be one good way to keep visits short. Breaking up visits over several days — a few minutes today, a few minutes tomorrow — can be another option (plus, spreading out your visits gives loved ones something to look forward to).

When visiting an elderly loved one in Lynden, Bellingham or elsewhere in Whatcom County, a few simple actions can help decrease the chances of spreading COVID-19.

Differences between communal living and at-home care

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Nearly 9 in 10 elderly people want to live at home for as long as possible, according to the AARP.

Why?

There are many reasons why a person might choose to age in place rather than move to an assisted living center or other communal living arrangement: cost, independence and the level of personal care needed all have a role in the decision-making process.

One of the most  obvious reasons why individuals might choose to live at home instead of in a communal facility is that it’s what they’ve always known. Living in their own home is what they’re used to; it’s comfortable. They can sleep in their own bed, use their own kitchen, enjoy the window views they’re familiar with and more. Whether it’s in Lynden, Ferndale, Bellingham, Everson or somewhere else, home is… home.

Related: Is your mom or dad ready for care?

Here are some other simple – but important – reasons why people might want to age in place:

  • Not having to share sleeping spaces. Among the simple benefits of living at home is not having to share a room with other elderly residents. Living at home means more privacy, more individual freedom. An at-home caregiver can provide services in support of the individual’s independence, offering as much or as little care as is desired.
  • Being able to set the heat. Living at home means being in control of your home. It may seem simple to be able to set the heat to one’s desired comfort level, to listen to music (or not) when desired or to turn on or off the lights when needed. But in a communal living environment, those choices aren’t always possible. There’s good reason for that, of course; in an assisted living home, the needs of many people must be met at once. At home, there’s just one person whose needs are most important.
  • Choosing what and when to eat. Communal living offers the convenience of having all meals prepared and served by someone else. That can free up an individual’s time for other activities. However, there’s some loss of choice in that, and many older people choose to have an at-home caregiver help with meal preparation – and even grocery shopping, too – to enable them to retain control over dining options.
  • Maintaining easy access to family and friends. Living at home, there are no restrictions on visiting hours. There is no need to keep voices down, meet in shared spaces or limit who is allowed to visit. Instead, family and friends can continue to visit grandma as they always have – at grandma’s house.

Of course, these aren’t the only things to consider when deciding between aging in place or moving to an assisted living facility. Cost can be a factor, as can the amount of care needed and the ease of completing activities of daily living. For some people, medical or other needs are great enough that moving to an assisted living center is the right choice. For many others, an at-home caregiver can be brought in to provide whatever assistance is needed, extending the amount of time that older people can continue to live at home – which, as we’ve seen, many people want to do.

Related: How can I fulfil mom’s desire to live at home?

Before and after surgery: Why you might need help at home

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Going in for a planned surgery often includes the need to prepare for days ahead of time and to recuperate for days or weeks afterward.

If your mom or dad has a surgery planned that requires a lengthy prep or at-home recuperation period, you’ll want to ensure that they have help with daily needs. Even for surgeries with relatively rapid recovery times, help at home after surgery often is essential. As you prepare for your loved one’s surgery, be sure to talk with the surgeon about expected recovery times and recommendations for post-op care for seniors.

Your mom or dad’s specific needs will depend on the type of surgery involved, but in general there are several reasons why someone might need at-home care before or after surgery in Whatcom County:

Food and medication management: Correctly managing dietary and medication plans during preparations for surgery can be difficult. Often, the instructions can be confusing. Specific plans and timings – eat this food now, fast for this long, take this pill at 6 and that one at 8 – can be challenging for people of all ages to understand and abide by.

Pain management and regulation: After the surgery, the management of pain medication can be difficult – but oh, so important. Your mom, dad or other loved one might be taking medications that could cloud thinking and judgment. Having someone around to help your loved one follow the medication plan and recognize when slight adjustments might need to be made is valuable. This can help prevent overmedication while providing valuable support in managing pain for the first few days.

Getting here and there: Speaking of pain medication and management, it’s important that people who are taking pain medication do not drive. The pain management regimen could go on for days or weeks after the surgery. An at-home assistant can help ensure that the shopping gets done and that the patient has a ride to and from follow-up appointments.

Personal care: Before and especially after surgery, it might be necessary to have someone help with various tasks related to daily living. Assistance might be needed to provide and/or prepare meals, change dressings, fetch ice packs and keep your mom or dad hydrated.

Reducing the likelihood of a return to the hospital: Hiring a caregiver to manage the post-hospital care such as wound dressing, medication management, mobility aid and doctor communication can make all the difference between smooth post-op recovery and a return to the hospital if things go south.

When the elderly must have surgery performed, often they rely on family members to help. But what are they to do if family do not live nearby or are otherwise unable to help? At at-home nursing assistant can provide invaluable support in situations like this. To learn more about how Take My Hand At-Home Care provides help before and after surgery for people in Lynden, Ferndale, Bellingham and throughout Whatcom County, please feel free to give us a call or read this information about our in-home assessments.

Help! I have questions about caring for an aging parent.

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As we’ve mentioned before in previous TMH Client Profiles, at Take My Hand At-Home Care we hear often from adults who are wondering when and how to decide that mom or dad needs a higher level of personal care and attention.

These certainly are not easy decisions to make, and every situation is different. But read on for an example situation that may include elements of what you’re going through. Perhaps it will help you make those important decisions.

Mom is still pretty active. She lives nearby, so sometimes I accompany her to doctor visits in Bellingham or take her shopping, but she typically can do those things just fine on her own.

The other day, when we were working in her garden, she mentioned that she loves her home — she’s lived in the same home in Lynden for 50 years, after all — and doesn’t want to leave. When she eventually needs care, she said, she wants to stay at home. She doesn’t want to be moved to a long-term care center or assisted living facility; she’d rather just stay right at home.

The problem is that I’m not able to spend the time caring for her that probably would be required. I have a family of my own to care for, and I have to go to work every day, too. How can I meet mom’s desires to stay home while also being sure that she’s taken care of? Sometimes it keeps me up at night.

This is a common concern. Adults in the sandwich generation — those who are sandwiched between caring for aging parents and caring for their own young children — often find themselves having to make difficult decisions about how to spend their time and money. Do I sacrifice my family time to spend evenings and weekends caring for mom? Do I dip into our family savings to pay for upgrades to mom’s home so she can age in place? How do I even know when mom is ready for extra assistance around the home?

No single solution is a perfect fit for every family here in Whatcom County. However, there are some good options for adult children in situations like this to consider:

  • Set up a consultation with a home care provider to discuss your situation. A trained provider with experience in at-home care situations can take a look at your loved one’s situations and offer personalized advice. Take My Hand offers complimentary in-home assessments for folks in Lynden, Ferndale, Bellingham and throughout Whatcom County.
  • Ask an at-home care provider for part-time shifts to cover basic needs. This would help your mom or dad get used to the idea of having people other than family members in the home. Plus, part-time home care would help set a baseline for the care needed. At-home care situations can be new for everyone, and starting off slowly is often a good idea.
  • Caregivers like us are fond of saying that the best caregivers are those who are able to care for themselves and meet their own needs. Honestly, that’s critically important. If you, as a family caregiver, are constantly giving and never receiving, you’re going to run your own batteries so low that you won’t be able to help anyone. Please know that your family — spouse, kids, yourself — needs and deserves your attention, so don’t feel guilty if you can’t be with your aging parent as much as they might like.
  • Independence and self-sufficiency are good things for older adults. We try to keep them from becoming reliant on outside help too early; if they can do something for themselves, let them and encourage them! Of course, pay close attention to signs that they might need extra help — increasing bouts of forgetfulness, difficulty getting around, declining eyesight, lack of ability to process and understand doctors’ orders, etc. — and step in when necessary, but don’t feel obligated to help just because your parents are getting older.
  • Now is a great time to start considering payment options for long-term care. You never know what you might need in the future, and how much it might cost. Consider your family financial situation and the amount of money mom and dad have saved up and start investigating options that might work for you. Long-term care insurance can be a good choice, as can Medicare and private-pay options.

If you’d like to have a discussion about any of these aspects of eldercare in Whatcom County, please feel free to give us a call or send an email.

Should I take my parent out of assisted living during COVID-19?

Assisted living can be a wonderful way to ensure that loved ones get the care they need as they age. Many assisted living and skilled nursing centers offer a robust level of care while also doing what they can to ensure that those who live there are able to retain some independence and live life as “normally” as possible. However, the COVID-19 pandemic has radically altered how assisted … [Read More...]

ABOUT US

Sue Sorensen became involved with Whatcom County eldercare and aging-in-place services in 2009. She launched Take My Hand At-Home Care in January 2012 … Read More...

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