Blog | Take My Hand At Home

So, your parents have refused help. Now what?

June 5, 2019 By Take My Hand

As our parents and other elderly loved ones age, it’s common for us to increase in concern for their well-being. Perhaps we’re nervous about their ability to drive safely, or we’re careful to ensure that they attend all necessary appointments with their doctor.

Our concern is one of the biggest reasons we begin suggesting that our parents start thinking of assistance — we want to be sure they get needed at-home help with daily tasks, or we want them to live in a place where their needs are attended to on a regular basis.

But what can we do if they refuse help? It’s true that many of our elderly loved ones reject the idea of care, wanting to remain independent, to save on the cost of assistance, or for some other reason.

Here are a few tips that may help when you have “the talk” with your loved ones about care:

Listen and try to see things from their perspective. Aging can be scary. Having to rely on others can be frightening. Your loved one might be anxious about feeling helpless or guilty about being a burden to others. Take time to listen to their concerns and try to empathize with how they feel.

Patiently discuss what help around the home might look like. It may help to look at specific aspects of life with your loved one and discuss how things might be improved with good assistance. The elderly often don’t realize that they’re ready for assistance until they’re able to understand how at-home care can help them accomplish important daily or weekly tasks.

Gently suggest that your loved one might appreciate help doing the weekly shopping, picking up prescriptions, cleaning the house or getting out of the house for a walk now and then. People can reject having decisions made for them. Discuss the many options available to your parents — from occasional care in the comfort of home to full-time care in an assisted living center — and try to let them decide for themselves where in that range they might be.

Regarding at-home care, it’s good to remember that it can be adjusted to the needs of the individual, so it can be as involved (or not) as necessary. Say a loved one doesn’t want assistance because he or she feels it will be too restricting. At-home care can actually increase a person’s freedom by freeing them up to do what they love, and/or assist them in it.

Learn more: Is your mom or dad ready for care?

Share your concerns and discuss various healthcare options. Here is where you can share specific areas of concern that you have for your loved one. Often, hearing about this concern from a beloved child or friend can have a big impact. If you’ve been the primary caregiver but no longer have the time or energy you used to, mention that you would like to bring in other caregivers to help out.

This could be a good way to ease into the conversation about other types of care down the road, too. If you’re able to chat casually about future healthcare decisions before they’re imminent, you’ll all be much more ready to have that talk when it does come.

Learn more: The benefits of at-home care

Get advice from an outside expert. In our in-home consultations, we try to understand what’s best for each client, even if it means that caregivers from Take My Hand won’t be involved. If you’d like to learn more, please reach out. We would be happy to help explain the best next steps to your reluctant loved one.

Why work in at-home care?

May 2, 2019 By Take My Hand

The home care industry continues to see astounding growth. In 2016, there were roughly 2 million personal care attendants in the United States, and that figure is expected to grow by 40 percent over the next decade. This projection is attributable to the fact that a record 50 million people aged 65 and older currently live in the U.S., and by 2030 this number is expected to increase by 20 million.

Simply put, at-home care is in demand.

That’s not the only reason to consider a position in at-home caregiving, however. At-home care offers a wonderful opportunity for caregivers to truly make a difference in the lives of the elderly.

Let’s look in more detail at some reasons why people would work in at-home care:

A caregiver in a red jacket pushes an older woman in a wheelchair down a concrete ramp.

Build friendships and provide comfort to those who need it. Isolation can be hazardous to seniors’ health, and as many as one in six seniors faces the repercussions of loneliness in their daily lives. At-home care offers CNAs, licensed nurses and other caregivers an opportunity to combat elder loneliness by building meaningful friendships with seniors.

Work at a slower pace and with more flexible hours. Providing care in the home can be less demanding than working in an assisted-living facility or hospital. Hours are generally more flexible, and care is slower-paced. Supporting one person is a much different experience than rushing from bed to bed serving numerous patients each day. With the slower pace, caregivers also find that they have more time to get to know their clients through the sharing of stories and experiences. Clients are often full of wonderful life advice!

Help maximize health and wellness. At-home caregivers typically are involved in helping the elderly remember medications, providing good communication with doctors and assisting in such daily tasks as bathing, walking, cooking and shopping. Thus, caregivers play critical roles in the ongoing health of their clients. Plus, at-home care affords the opportunity to see all aspects of a person, not just their medical conditions or daily needs. In the comfort of home, caregivers can get to know clients on a deeper, more personal level.

A caregiver stands in a grassy field with her elderly client as they watch the sunset together.

Make a difference in someone’s life. Take My Hand At-Home Care often is mentioned in obituaries when a person passes. Why? Because our caregivers tend to make huge impressions in seniors’ lives, whether it’s through expert assistance, kind compassion or genuine friendship. We’re proud of our reputation for kind, compassionate care that makes an impression on the elderly and their loved ones.

Take My Hand At-Home Care has been providing personal, professional support for the elderly in Whatcom County since 2012. Our eldercare options include daily shifts and even 24-hour live-in assistance, which allows seniors to age-in-place instead of moving to a long-term care facility. We are fully licensed, bonded and insured. Our professional caregivers have been trained and certified to provide compassionate care to elders in Washington state.

When you’re healthy but your spouse isn’t, here’s how to cope

April 3, 2019 By Take My Hand

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 60 percent of Americans live with a chronic disease, such as heart disease, cancer, stroke or diabetes.

Given those percentages, there inevitably are a great many “well spouses” who are caring for a sick person daily.

When you’re the spouse who isn’t ill, how do you cope with the challenges while protecting your own health? Providing care for a spouse can be difficult, but it can be done, and done well. Here are some actions that can help:

Get educated. Caring for a sick spouse starts with making sure you know what you can about your loved one’s disease. “Well spouses cope better when they, like their partners, have accurate, firsthand information about their mate’s condition, treatment and needs,” says Johns Hopkins Medicine. A good place to start is the Northwest Regional Council, which through its Family Caregiver Support Program has many educational resources available, including a collection of loanable library resources and informational booklets on Alzheimer’s and dementia, depression and caring for the caregiver.

Get help. You don’t need to do it alone. Providing loving, compassionate care for a spouse 24/7 takes a lot out of you. Take time for yourself to do the things you enjoy: walking the dog, shopping, reading a book, relaxing. “If someone wants to be there for their loved one, it’s not selfish to ask for help,” says Lynette Whiteman, who runs a caregiver volunteer agency, in a story from A Place for Mom about caregiver health. “By getting help, they’re helping their loved one.” Options for support include reaching out to Northwest Regional Council’s Family Caregiver Support Program or hiring occasional help to care for your loved one, such as the services w e provide here at Take My Hand At-Home Care. From half-day respite shifts to 24-hour care, we provide family caregivers the support they need.

Take comfort from others. Next Avenue conducted a series of interviews with adults whose spouses have a chronic illness, and the advice those people shared is tender, touching and helpful. Consider this, from a man who took care of his wife for a dozen years while she was in a wheelchair: “I am grateful for the time we had and the help I had from all of the health care professionals over those years. I learned from her and from them how very precious life is.” Next Avenue’s report, titled “When One Spouse Is Healthy and the Other Isn’t,” is worth a read. You also might check out a local support group for caregivers or an online forum (such as this one at Caregiver Action Network) where you can vent your frustrations, ask for advice and learn from the experience of others.

If you’re in Whatcom County and caring for a sick spouse or loved one and would like to learn more about the benefits of having part-time care in the home, please reach out to us at Take My Hand At-Home Care here in Lynden. We provide support all over the region, from Blaine to Bellingham, and we’d love to talk about your needs.

Is your mom or dad ready for care? A TMH client profile

March 6, 2019 By Take My Hand

We often hear from concerned sons and daughters that their parents might be ready for some at-home assistance, but they’re not sure. Sometimes the kids are hesitant to suggest the idea to parents, and sometimes parents aren’t keen on accepting care.

It can be hard to know when is the right time to suggest care. To offer some assistance, consider this sample profile of a TMH client. Not every client will look like this, certainly, but this is one good example of the type of people who can benefit from at-home care.

Mom and dad are both in their 80s, living in a small, one-floor home in Birch Bay. They have two children, but neither lives close enough to provide regular assistance. The daughter lives in Seattle, and the son lives in Sedro-Woolley. Both of them are married with children, and their days are full and busy.

Dad still drives, which has been helpful for making the extra doctor’s appointments lately that have arisen from mom’s advancing dementia. He has gotten into a couple minor fender-benders in the last couple of months, though, and that’s beginning to be a worrisome trend. Some family members have questioned whether dad should still be driving. He already has stopped driving at night, because it can be so hard to see, and that has placed a few limitations on he and mom. For example, they don’t go out to bingo nights or dance events at the senior center any more, and those used to be beloved hobbies.

Even without going to dances, the couple is still pretty active. They try to walk every day. Dad had a fall last week, though — slipped on a stray magazine in the living room — and that left him with some painful bruises on his right hip. Nothing is broken, thankfully, but the experience reminded him that getting around isn’t as easy as it used to be.

There’s a small grocery store about four blocks from their house, but they’re not walking there as much anymore, and even less so with dad’s fall. They could probably use a few groceries to stock up the fridge and pantry.

This couple is the perfect candidate for two or three half-day shifts per week. They’re pretty active and healthy, and they’re far from needing 24-hour care. However, they would really benefit from assistance getting to the doctor’s office and help with the weekly grocery shopping. They could use someone to tidy up the house once a week and ensure that everything is in its proper place. They could also use some help communicating with doctors and ensuring that medicines are taken on time, and it would be good to have someone around to monitor mom. (Her dementia isn’t far along, but it would be good to have someone checking in on her now and again and looking at how it’s affecting dad, too.)

The 12-hour shifts would take a lot of pressure off of dad and would allow the couple to relax a bit, worrying less about the details and spending more time enjoying each other’s company.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, perhaps your mom or dad — or someone else in your life — could benefit from having a licensed caregiver helping out on half-day shifts. Just give us a call and we can talk about your options.

Work for your health: Five things to do now for a happier future

February 6, 2019 By Take My Hand

As caregivers, we often find ourselves in the role of helping people whose health is failing. We get called in to provide needed support to elders whose bodies and/or minds just aren’t working like they used to. It’s a fulfilling line of work, and we enjoy it.

We also enjoy offering tips and advice for seniors to maintain their good health, and for younger people who want to ensure that their minds and bodies are in top form as they grow older.

With that in mind, here are five important things to do throughout your life to ensure that you stay strong and health for as long as you can:

Eat well. The value of eating well cannot be overstated. For a great look at what different foods are good for and how various nutrients are used by the body, check out this comprehensive overview from the University of Minnesota or this brief look at how nutrients affect the body. Why do we need Vitamin A, and where do we get it? How can eating more whole grains help us reduce weight gain? What are beneficial fats? Spend some time researching the value of good nutrition, and make changes in your diet today to maximize the benefits of great food.

Learn more: Are the loved ones in your life
eating healthy? Here’s how to help.

Sleep well. You might have heard that people can go longer without food than without sleep. Good sleep is incredibly important — critical — to good health. And not only that, it’s important to be consistent. Here are some easy ways to improve your ability to sleep well: Avoid caffeine and alcohol late in the day, keep your room dark and quiet, stay off of screens just before bed, and get plenty of exercise during the day.

Learn more: Sleep is important for caregivers, too!
Here’s how to ensure you’re getting what you need.

Get moving. Simply put, staying independent almost always requires staying fit. Good regular exercise can keep your heart strong and prevent such problems as arthritis and diabetes. It’s good for your brain and can help stave off depression, and it’s good for your heart and can prevent heart disease. There is no substitute for an active lifestyle. If you love your body, make use of it and get moving! As a fun way of getting started, connect with a local walking group. You might find one on this list from the Washington Trails Association.

Make friends. All those friends you make on the trail — or at the senior center, at the park, at church, at your favorite volunteer activity — also are important to your long-term physical and mental well-being. Social isolation is a risk factor for depression, and loneliness may be a preclinical sign for Alzheimer’s disease. What can help? Friends.

Challenge your brain. Stimulating social and mental activities can help keep brains sharp, improve memory and help with daily life skills. Here are seven fun ways to ensure you’re getting plenty of great brain exercise.

If you need help with any of these tasks, please feel free to reach out to us here at Take My Hand At-Home Care. We provide non-medical companion and home care services throughout Whatcom County, in daily shifts or even 24-hour live-in assistance.

So, your parents have refused help. Now what?

Why work in at-home care?

When you’re healthy but your spouse isn’t, here’s how to cope

Is your mom or dad ready for care? A TMH client profile

Work for your health: Five things to do now for a happier future

Providing care to elders at home during COVID-19

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