Aging in place | Take My Hand At Home

ADUs can be part of cost-effective option for eldercare

October 6, 2020 By Take My Hand

As we age, the options for health care and assistance only get more expensive. Nursing home care, for example, can cost $90,000 to $100,000 per year in Washington state. Assisted living can cost approximately $50,000 per year and up.

However, one option for caring for aging parents and loved ones is to add an accessory dwelling unit, or ADU, to your property to aid in the provision of at-home care. Doing so allows families to keep their aging loved ones nearby, not only being able to oversee their care but also to spend more time with them as they age.

ADUs have been around the Whatcom County area for a long time. The rules for ADUs — whether free-standing structures or finished basements or attics — can vary depending on your location, so it’s important to check with your local jurisdiction before getting started. The rules in Bellingham are different than the rules in Lynden, Ferndale and unincorporated Whatcom County.

In general, here are some options you might consider when thinking about adding an ADU to your property to help care for an aging loved one at home:

Refinish a basement or attic. Especially after children grow up and move out, homeowners often find themselves with extra space inside their homes that can be remodeled to accommodate a loved one. Adding a bathroom and small kitchen to a finished basement, for example, can turn unneeded storage or play space into important living quarters for a loved one.
Buy a prefabricated ADU to place behind your house. As ADUs become increasingly popular, more and more companies are offering prefab ADUs — built to your specifications — that can be sited on your property with minimal construction costs and delays. At a cost of less than one year in a nursing home, a gorgeous prefab ADU could provide years of comfortable living. A prefab accessory dwelling unit can provide some autonomy and privacy while also keeping loved ones nearby.
Convert a shed or detached garage to a “granny flat” or cottage dwelling. Do you have a shed or garage on your property that’s just storing unused junk? Converting it to an accessory dwelling unit could be a wonderful way to reclaim that wasted space.

No matter what type of ADU you decide on as an alternative for assisted living, remember to check your local government’s website or put in a phone call to find out exactly what rules and regulations govern the construction of an ADU on your property.

You’ll also want to consider how to get your loved one the help he or she needs. Will family members be providing the care, or will you hire part-time help to assist with activities of daily living, such as grocery shopping, transportation to doctor visits, cooking and more? For information on how Take My Hand At-Home Care might be able to help provide care in your new ADU, please feel free to give us a call.

Differences between communal living and at-home care

July 2, 2020 By Take My Hand

Nearly 9 in 10 elderly people want to live at home for as long as possible, according to the AARP.

Why?

There are many reasons why a person might choose to age in place rather than move to an assisted living center or other communal living arrangement: cost, independence and the level of personal care needed all have a role in the decision-making process.

One of the most obvious reasons why individuals might choose to live at home instead of in a communal facility is that it’s what they’ve always known. Living in their own home is what they’re used to; it’s comfortable. They can sleep in their own bed, use their own kitchen, enjoy the window views they’re familiar with and more. Whether it’s in Lynden, Ferndale, Bellingham, Everson or somewhere else, home is… home.

Related: Is your mom or dad ready for care?

Here are some other simple – but important – reasons why people might want to age in place:

Not having to share sleeping spaces. Among the simple benefits of living at home is not having to share a room with other elderly residents. Living at home means more privacy, more individual freedom. An at-home caregiver can provide services in support of the individual’s independence, offering as much or as little care as is desired.
Being able to set the heat. Living at home means being in control of your home. It may seem simple to be able to set the heat to one’s desired comfort level, to listen to music (or not) when desired or to turn on or off the lights when needed. But in a communal living environment, those choices aren’t always possible. There’s good reason for that, of course; in an assisted living home, the needs of many people must be met at once. At home, there’s just one person whose needs are most important.
Choosing what and when to eat. Communal living offers the convenience of having all meals prepared and served by someone else. That can free up an individual’s time for other activities. However, there’s some loss of choice in that, and many older people choose to have an at-home caregiver help with meal preparation – and even grocery shopping, too – to enable them to retain control over dining options.
Maintaining easy access to family and friends. Living at home, there are no restrictions on visiting hours. There is no need to keep voices down, meet in shared spaces or limit who is allowed to visit. Instead, family and friends can continue to visit grandma as they always have – at grandma’s house.

Of course, these aren’t the only things to consider when deciding between aging in place or moving to an assisted living facility. Cost can be a factor, as can the amount of care needed and the ease of completing activities of daily living. For some people, medical or other needs are great enough that moving to an assisted living center is the right choice. For many others, an at-home caregiver can be brought in to provide whatever assistance is needed, extending the amount of time that older people can continue to live at home – which, as we’ve seen, many people want to do.

Related: How can I fulfil mom’s desire to live at home?

Help! I have questions about caring for an aging parent.

May 6, 2020 By Take My Hand

As we’ve mentioned before in previous TMH Client Profiles, at Take My Hand At-Home Care we hear often from adults who are wondering when and how to decide that mom or dad needs a higher level of personal care and attention.

These certainly are not easy decisions to make, and every situation is different. But read on for an example situation that may include elements of what you’re going through. Perhaps it will help you make those important decisions.

Mom is still pretty active. She lives nearby, so sometimes I accompany her to doctor visits in Bellingham or take her shopping, but she typically can do those things just fine on her own.

The other day, when we were working in her garden, she mentioned that she loves her home — she’s lived in the same home in Lynden for 50 years, after all — and doesn’t want to leave. When she eventually needs care, she said, she wants to stay at home. She doesn’t want to be moved to a long-term care center or assisted living facility; she’d rather just stay right at home.

The problem is that I’m not able to spend the time caring for her that probably would be required. I have a family of my own to care for, and I have to go to work every day, too. How can I meet mom’s desires to stay home while also being sure that she’s taken care of? Sometimes it keeps me up at night.

This is a common concern. Adults in the sandwich generation — those who are sandwiched between caring for aging parents and caring for their own young children — often find themselves having to make difficult decisions about how to spend their time and money. Do I sacrifice my family time to spend evenings and weekends caring for mom? Do I dip into our family savings to pay for upgrades to mom’s home so she can age in place? How do I even know when mom is ready for extra assistance around the home?

No single solution is a perfect fit for every family here in Whatcom County. However, there are some good options for adult children in situations like this to consider:

Set up a consultation with a home care provider to discuss your situation. A trained provider with experience in at-home care situations can take a look at your loved one’s situations and offer personalized advice. Take My Hand offers complimentary in-home assessments for folks in Lynden, Ferndale, Bellingham and throughout Whatcom County.
Ask an at-home care provider for part-time shifts to cover basic needs. This would help your mom or dad get used to the idea of having people other than family members in the home. Plus, part-time home care would help set a baseline for the care needed. At-home care situations can be new for everyone, and starting off slowly is often a good idea.
Caregivers like us are fond of saying that the best caregivers are those who are able to care for themselves and meet their own needs. Honestly, that’s critically important. If you, as a family caregiver, are constantly giving and never receiving, you’re going to run your own batteries so low that you won’t be able to help anyone. Please know that your family — spouse, kids, yourself — needs and deserves your attention, so don’t feel guilty if you can’t be with your aging parent as much as they might like.
Independence and self-sufficiency are good things for older adults. We try to keep them from becoming reliant on outside help too early; if they can do something for themselves, let them and encourage them! Of course, pay close attention to signs that they might need extra help — increasing bouts of forgetfulness, difficulty getting around, declining eyesight, lack of ability to process and understand doctors’ orders, etc. — and step in when necessary, but don’t feel obligated to help just because your parents are getting older.
Now is a great time to start considering payment options for long-term care. You never know what you might need in the future, and how much it might cost. Consider your family financial situation and the amount of money mom and dad have saved up and start investigating options that might work for you. Long-term care insurance can be a good choice, as can Medicare and private-pay options.

If you’d like to have a discussion about any of these aspects of eldercare in Whatcom County, please feel free to give us a call or send an email.

Longer lifespans can limit opportunities for family care

December 6, 2019 By Take My Hand

Americans are living a long time.

In fact, the average lifespan in the United States is just a shade under 79 years — almost a full decade longer than in 1960. And if 79 years old is the average, you know that many Americans are living even longer, often into their 90s.

Those data certainly seem to be true based on observation at Take My Hand At Home Care here in Whatcom County. Many of the people helped by our caregivers are in their 90s.

Something particularly interesting about that statistic as it relates to family caregiving is that elders in their 90s typically have children in their 60s and 70s. That’s pretty old for the challenging work of caring for mom and dad on a daily basis, especially if health problems are involved.

Is your mom or dad
ready for care? Find out.

What’s more, their grandchildren are often in their 30s and 40s, meaning that they’re so busy with children, careers and the daily pressures of life that it’s a challenge for them to have time and energy to help their elderly grandparents with the activities of daily living. And when these members of the sandwich generation do provide eldercare, it’s usually at the expense of some other aspect of life.

That’s why the support of a part-time or full-time caregiver can be so critical. When the eldest generation needs help at home, caregivers from organizations such as Take My Hand in Lynden can be lifesavers. We offer in-home assessments to better understand the needs and expectations of you and your loved ones.

As we age, much of what we love to do — driving, gardening, walking, shopping, cooking, etc. — becomes increasingly difficult. However, at-home caregivers can step in and help out when family members aren’t able.

Is your loved one unable to drive?
Don’t let that hold them back.

There’s no need for family members to feel guilty about not being able to help mom or dad on a daily basis. If you’re in your 70s, or if you’re younger and with kids of your own to care for, not being able to be there to care for your elderly parents every day is completely understandable.

Take My Hand At Home Care provides caregiving services throughout Whatcom County, including in Bellingham, Lynden, Ferndale, Birch Bay, Blaine and Everson. Give us a call today to talk about how we can help.

The value of a little help at home

September 7, 2019 By Take My Hand

An elderly woman looks at a large collection of flowers under a green and white tent. — At-home care can free us up to do the things we love, like browse the gorgeous flowers at the farmers’ market.

As we age, it can be common for us to start to scale back our activities.

After all, many of the things we’re used to doing — whether the activities we do for fun or the stuff of daily life — can become more difficult as our bodies and minds start to slow down.

Driving is harder, doing laundry is harder, gardening is harder, walking from point A to point B is harder, finding the motivation to exercise is harder, shopping is harder…

None of these things is impossible, of course — they’re all just a bit more difficult than they have been. Under these circumstances, our worlds can get smaller and less active.

That’s where a little at-home assistance really can be a great service. A little help around the house can be an enormous relief; having a caregiver companion stop by two to three times per week can really help seniors LIVE their lives.

Learn more: How Take My Hand helps Lynden senior Bernadette Millar live a full life.

In essence, having a little help around the home can actually increase a elderly individual’s independence.

That’s an important point to note, because one concern we hear occasionally here at Take My Hand At-Home Care is that caregivers can be limiting for an elderly person’s lifestyle. In fact, the eldery sometimes think that when their family recommends a caregiver, the goal is to take away their independence.

In truth, your family is not trying to take your independence away, they are trying to help you LIVE and enjoy what you have. If your loved ones are resistant to care, here are a few tips to help continue the conversation.

Learn more: How to tell whether your mom or dad is ready for at-home care.

A part-time caregiver at home can help you pursue your passions. A caregiver can help give you time, energy and drive to pursue health long into the future. In-home support can be an activity companion, working with you on fun activities that help maintain brain health. And with the holidays coming up soon, don’t overlook the many ways a caregiver can help with the Thanksgiving and Christmas prep and festivities.

To learn more about how Take My Hand At-Home Care can provide help for you or an elderly loved one, just give us a call or send a message online. Our experienced care providers are standing by to help!

‘We all need others in our lives’

August 7, 2019 By Take My Hand

[ Editor’s note: Originally published in the Lynden Tribune ]

Bernadette Millar, center, gets everyday help and also socializing with Heidi Sorensen and Sue Sorensen. Photo by Laura Place/Lynden Tribune.

For Lynden senior Bernadette Millar, meeting with her caretaker Heidi Sorensen each week not only helps her with her everyday tasks, but provides a sense of companionship. Sometimes the two go shopping together, or Heidi helps Bernadette with her bills and appointments.

Bernadette has been meeting regularly with Heidi for three years now, after being connected to the in-home care service of Take My Hand of Lynden following a visit from her son and daughter-in-law. Those relatives made the initial connection to Take My Hand, and owner Sue Sorensen (Heidi’s mother-in-law) reached out to Bernadette directly.

“I didn’t call her — she called me,” Bernadette recalled. “It came right at the right time.”

Bernadette stopped being able to drive herself around a few years ago after a bad fall that resulted in nerve damage. She said the loss of the ability to drive a vehicle was devastating, but now being able to go to the places she needs to go and get out of her condo every once in a while with Heidi gives her something to look forward to.

The care service offers assistance to seniors with various tasks based on their needs, such as taking medication, scheduling appointments and going on errands. Or, as in Bernadette’s case, the client and caretaker will just go and enjoy coffee together.

“We do everything, from companionship to end-of-life care,” Sue Sorensen said.

For Bernadette, it’s a gift to be able to get out of the house with Heidi and know all of her appointments and bills are organized. Just as important, Sue points out, is having someone to laugh with. Sitting in Woods Coffee at Bender Plaza on a Friday outing, Bernadette and Heidi laugh together about Bernadette’s favorite saying, “Can’t be bothered.”

“I thought it was ‘think positively’?” Heidi asks.

“I’m always positive!” Bernadette says back, smiling.

This companionship from a caretaker can help to combat some of the isolation and loneliness experienced by many senior citizens, making it one of the most important aspects of the service offered by Take My Hand, Sue Sorensen said. Even just going on outings a couple of times a week gives clients something to look forward to.

“It’s a big deal for them, to get out of the house,” Sorensen said of the clients who are assisted by Take My Hand. “We all want to be independent, but we all need others in our lives.”

Take My Hand At-Home Care can be reached at 360-543-5777 and online at takemyhandathome.com.

So, your parents have refused help. Now what?

June 5, 2019 By Take My Hand

As our parents and other elderly loved ones age, it’s common for us to increase in concern for their well-being. Perhaps we’re nervous about their ability to drive safely, or we’re careful to ensure that they attend all necessary appointments with their doctor.

Our concern is one of the biggest reasons we begin suggesting that our parents start thinking of assistance — we want to be sure they get needed at-home help with daily tasks, or we want them to live in a place where their needs are attended to on a regular basis.

But what can we do if they refuse help? It’s true that many of our elderly loved ones reject the idea of care, wanting to remain independent, to save on the cost of assistance, or for some other reason.

Here are a few tips that may help when you have “the talk” with your loved ones about care:

Listen and try to see things from their perspective. Aging can be scary. Having to rely on others can be frightening. Your loved one might be anxious about feeling helpless or guilty about being a burden to others. Take time to listen to their concerns and try to empathize with how they feel.

Patiently discuss what help around the home might look like. It may help to look at specific aspects of life with your loved one and discuss how things might be improved with good assistance. The elderly often don’t realize that they’re ready for assistance until they’re able to understand how at-home care can help them accomplish important daily or weekly tasks.

Gently suggest that your loved one might appreciate help doing the weekly shopping, picking up prescriptions, cleaning the house or getting out of the house for a walk now and then. People can reject having decisions made for them. Discuss the many options available to your parents — from occasional care in the comfort of home to full-time care in an assisted living center — and try to let them decide for themselves where in that range they might be.

Regarding at-home care, it’s good to remember that it can be adjusted to the needs of the individual, so it can be as involved (or not) as necessary. Say a loved one doesn’t want assistance because he or she feels it will be too restricting. At-home care can actually increase a person’s freedom by freeing them up to do what they love, and/or assist them in it.

Learn more: Is your mom or dad ready for care?

Share your concerns and discuss various healthcare options. Here is where you can share specific areas of concern that you have for your loved one. Often, hearing about this concern from a beloved child or friend can have a big impact. If you’ve been the primary caregiver but no longer have the time or energy you used to, mention that you would like to bring in other caregivers to help out.

This could be a good way to ease into the conversation about other types of care down the road, too. If you’re able to chat casually about future healthcare decisions before they’re imminent, you’ll all be much more ready to have that talk when it does come.

Learn more: The benefits of at-home care

Get advice from an outside expert. In our in-home consultations, we try to understand what’s best for each client, even if it means that caregivers from Take My Hand won’t be involved. If you’d like to learn more, please reach out. We would be happy to help explain the best next steps to your reluctant loved one.

When you’re healthy but your spouse isn’t, here’s how to cope

April 3, 2019 By Take My Hand

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 60 percent of Americans live with a chronic disease, such as heart disease, cancer, stroke or diabetes.

Given those percentages, there inevitably are a great many “well spouses” who are caring for a sick person daily.

When you’re the spouse who isn’t ill, how do you cope with the challenges while protecting your own health? Providing care for a spouse can be difficult, but it can be done, and done well. Here are some actions that can help:

Get educated. Caring for a sick spouse starts with making sure you know what you can about your loved one’s disease. “Well spouses cope better when they, like their partners, have accurate, firsthand information about their mate’s condition, treatment and needs,” says Johns Hopkins Medicine. A good place to start is the Northwest Regional Council, which through its Family Caregiver Support Program has many educational resources available, including a collection of loanable library resources and informational booklets on Alzheimer’s and dementia, depression and caring for the caregiver.

Get help. You don’t need to do it alone. Providing loving, compassionate care for a spouse 24/7 takes a lot out of you. Take time for yourself to do the things you enjoy: walking the dog, shopping, reading a book, relaxing. “If someone wants to be there for their loved one, it’s not selfish to ask for help,” says Lynette Whiteman, who runs a caregiver volunteer agency, in a story from A Place for Mom about caregiver health. “By getting help, they’re helping their loved one.” Options for support include reaching out to Northwest Regional Council’s Family Caregiver Support Program or hiring occasional help to care for your loved one, such as the services w e provide here at Take My Hand At-Home Care. From half-day respite shifts to 24-hour care, we provide family caregivers the support they need.

Take comfort from others. Next Avenue conducted a series of interviews with adults whose spouses have a chronic illness, and the advice those people shared is tender, touching and helpful. Consider this, from a man who took care of his wife for a dozen years while she was in a wheelchair: “I am grateful for the time we had and the help I had from all of the health care professionals over those years. I learned from her and from them how very precious life is.” Next Avenue’s report, titled “When One Spouse Is Healthy and the Other Isn’t,” is worth a read. You also might check out a local support group for caregivers or an online forum (such as this one at Caregiver Action Network) where you can vent your frustrations, ask for advice and learn from the experience of others.

If you’re in Whatcom County and caring for a sick spouse or loved one and would like to learn more about the benefits of having part-time care in the home, please reach out to us at Take My Hand At-Home Care here in Lynden. We provide support all over the region, from Blaine to Bellingham, and we’d love to talk about your needs.

Is your mom or dad ready for care? A TMH client profile

March 6, 2019 By Take My Hand

We often hear from concerned sons and daughters that their parents might be ready for some at-home assistance, but they’re not sure. Sometimes the kids are hesitant to suggest the idea to parents, and sometimes parents aren’t keen on accepting care.

It can be hard to know when is the right time to suggest care. To offer some assistance, consider this sample profile of a TMH client. Not every client will look like this, certainly, but this is one good example of the type of people who can benefit from at-home care.

Mom and dad are both in their 80s, living in a small, one-floor home in Birch Bay. They have two children, but neither lives close enough to provide regular assistance. The daughter lives in Seattle, and the son lives in Sedro-Woolley. Both of them are married with children, and their days are full and busy.

Dad still drives, which has been helpful for making the extra doctor’s appointments lately that have arisen from mom’s advancing dementia. He has gotten into a couple minor fender-benders in the last couple of months, though, and that’s beginning to be a worrisome trend. Some family members have questioned whether dad should still be driving. He already has stopped driving at night, because it can be so hard to see, and that has placed a few limitations on he and mom. For example, they don’t go out to bingo nights or dance events at the senior center any more, and those used to be beloved hobbies.

Even without going to dances, the couple is still pretty active. They try to walk every day. Dad had a fall last week, though — slipped on a stray magazine in the living room — and that left him with some painful bruises on his right hip. Nothing is broken, thankfully, but the experience reminded him that getting around isn’t as easy as it used to be.

There’s a small grocery store about four blocks from their house, but they’re not walking there as much anymore, and even less so with dad’s fall. They could probably use a few groceries to stock up the fridge and pantry.

This couple is the perfect candidate for two or three half-day shifts per week. They’re pretty active and healthy, and they’re far from needing 24-hour care. However, they would really benefit from assistance getting to the doctor’s office and help with the weekly grocery shopping. They could use someone to tidy up the house once a week and ensure that everything is in its proper place. They could also use some help communicating with doctors and ensuring that medicines are taken on time, and it would be good to have someone around to monitor mom. (Her dementia isn’t far along, but it would be good to have someone checking in on her now and again and looking at how it’s affecting dad, too.)

The 12-hour shifts would take a lot of pressure off of dad and would allow the couple to relax a bit, worrying less about the details and spending more time enjoying each other’s company.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, perhaps your mom or dad — or someone else in your life — could benefit from having a licensed caregiver helping out on half-day shifts. Just give us a call and we can talk about your options.

Tips for recognizing and preventing pressure sores

June 6, 2018 By Take My Hand

We all know how uncomfortable it is to sit or lie in one position for a long time.

For those who have limited ability to change positions or are confined to a bed or wheelchair, not only is it uncomfortable, it can cause pressure sores from prolonged pressure on the skin, which limits blood flow to the skin, depriving it of nutrients and oxygen. Pressure sores can be serious, but they can be prevented with just a little extra care and attention.

This kind of damage to the skin is also referred to as a bed sore or pressure ulcer and most often occurs on skin that covers bony areas of the body, such as:

Heels
Ankles
Hips
Tailbone
Shoulder blades and spine
Back or sides of the head for someone who is bedridden

Not only are pressure sores painful, they can be serious and require medical attention. It’s important to keep an eye out for areas on the skin that are showing signs of redness, tenderness, swelling and other types of irritation.

The Mayo Clinic lists these symptoms and warning signs of pressure ulcers:

Unusual changes in skin color or texture
Swelling
An area of skin that feels cooler or warmer to the touch than other areas
Tender areas

Pressure sores can develop quickly, and since they respond best to treatment when detected early, it’s important to check for sores daily and focus on prevention, especially with elderly individuals who may be aging in place at home.

Tips for helping loved ones prevent pressure sores:

Ensure someone is available to help your mom or dad shift weight frequently and change positions every hour or two.
Keep skin clean and dry. Moisture is a common culprit. Use mild soap and a soft cloth.
Be aware that buttons, zippers, and even folds in clothing or bedding can cause skin irritation.
Make sure they eat nutritious foods and drink plenty of fluids.
Take appropriate daily exercise. This might mean going for a walk, or something as simple as range of motion exercises such as lifting an arm and holding it up for a few moments.
Use pillows. Pillows can help prevent bed sores by being placed between parts of the body that press against each other — such as between the legs when lying on their side, or for cushioning under the tailbone, heels or elbows.

Caregivers at Take My Hand At-Home Care can help your parent or grandparent stay safe by proactively working to prevent pressure sores. At-home caregivers can help monitor skin conditions and treat early-onset bed sores before they become too serious. The awareness and care that we provide can help your loved one shift positions, get up and get moving, eat regularly and stay hydrated, clean and comfortable.

To learn more about the symptoms, causes, risk factors, complications and prevention of pressure sores, visit the Mayo Clinic website.

Our caregiver and home companion service is a locally owned and operated eldercare provider helping seniors in Whatcom County continue to live at home safely. If you would like more information about hiring help at home for an aging family member, and how we can help care for your loved one, contact Take My Hand At-Home Care.