Aging in place | Take My Hand At Home

So, your parents have refused help. Now what?

June 5, 2019 By Take My Hand

As our parents and other elderly loved ones age, it’s common for us to increase in concern for their well-being. Perhaps we’re nervous about their ability to drive safely, or we’re careful to ensure that they attend all necessary appointments with their doctor.

Our concern is one of the biggest reasons we begin suggesting that our parents start thinking of assistance — we want to be sure they get needed at-home help with daily tasks, or we want them to live in a place where their needs are attended to on a regular basis.

But what can we do if they refuse help? It’s true that many of our elderly loved ones reject the idea of care, wanting to remain independent, to save on the cost of assistance, or for some other reason.

Here are a few tips that may help when you have “the talk” with your loved ones about care:

Listen and try to see things from their perspective. Aging can be scary. Having to rely on others can be frightening. Your loved one might be anxious about feeling helpless or guilty about being a burden to others. Take time to listen to their concerns and try to empathize with how they feel.

Patiently discuss what help around the home might look like. It may help to look at specific aspects of life with your loved one and discuss how things might be improved with good assistance. The elderly often don’t realize that they’re ready for assistance until they’re able to understand how at-home care can help them accomplish important daily or weekly tasks.

Gently suggest that your loved one might appreciate help doing the weekly shopping, picking up prescriptions, cleaning the house or getting out of the house for a walk now and then. People can reject having decisions made for them. Discuss the many options available to your parents — from occasional care in the comfort of home to full-time care in an assisted living center — and try to let them decide for themselves where in that range they might be.

Regarding at-home care, it’s good to remember that it can be adjusted to the needs of the individual, so it can be as involved (or not) as necessary. Say a loved one doesn’t want assistance because he or she feels it will be too restricting. At-home care can actually increase a person’s freedom by freeing them up to do what they love, and/or assist them in it.

Learn more: Is your mom or dad ready for care?

Share your concerns and discuss various healthcare options. Here is where you can share specific areas of concern that you have for your loved one. Often, hearing about this concern from a beloved child or friend can have a big impact. If you’ve been the primary caregiver but no longer have the time or energy you used to, mention that you would like to bring in other caregivers to help out.

This could be a good way to ease into the conversation about other types of care down the road, too. If you’re able to chat casually about future healthcare decisions before they’re imminent, you’ll all be much more ready to have that talk when it does come.

Learn more: The benefits of at-home care

Get advice from an outside expert. In our in-home consultations, we try to understand what’s best for each client, even if it means that caregivers from Take My Hand won’t be involved. If you’d like to learn more, please reach out. We would be happy to help explain the best next steps to your reluctant loved one.

When you’re healthy but your spouse isn’t, here’s how to cope

April 3, 2019 By Take My Hand

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 60 percent of Americans live with a chronic disease, such as heart disease, cancer, stroke or diabetes.

Given those percentages, there inevitably are a great many “well spouses” who are caring for a sick person daily.

When you’re the spouse who isn’t ill, how do you cope with the challenges while protecting your own health? Providing care for a spouse can be difficult, but it can be done, and done well. Here are some actions that can help:

Get educated. Caring for a sick spouse starts with making sure you know what you can about your loved one’s disease. “Well spouses cope better when they, like their partners, have accurate, firsthand information about their mate’s condition, treatment and needs,” says Johns Hopkins Medicine. A good place to start is the Northwest Regional Council, which through its Family Caregiver Support Program has many educational resources available, including a collection of loanable library resources and informational booklets on Alzheimer’s and dementia, depression and caring for the caregiver.

Get help. You don’t need to do it alone. Providing loving, compassionate care for a spouse 24/7 takes a lot out of you. Take time for yourself to do the things you enjoy: walking the dog, shopping, reading a book, relaxing. “If someone wants to be there for their loved one, it’s not selfish to ask for help,” says Lynette Whiteman, who runs a caregiver volunteer agency, in a story from A Place for Mom about caregiver health. “By getting help, they’re helping their loved one.” Options for support include reaching out to Northwest Regional Council’s Family Caregiver Support Program or hiring occasional help to care for your loved one, such as the services w e provide here at Take My Hand At-Home Care. From half-day respite shifts to 24-hour care, we provide family caregivers the support they need.

Take comfort from others. Next Avenue conducted a series of interviews with adults whose spouses have a chronic illness, and the advice those people shared is tender, touching and helpful. Consider this, from a man who took care of his wife for a dozen years while she was in a wheelchair: “I am grateful for the time we had and the help I had from all of the health care professionals over those years. I learned from her and from them how very precious life is.” Next Avenue’s report, titled “When One Spouse Is Healthy and the Other Isn’t,” is worth a read. You also might check out a local support group for caregivers or an online forum (such as this one at Caregiver Action Network) where you can vent your frustrations, ask for advice and learn from the experience of others.

If you’re in Whatcom County and caring for a sick spouse or loved one and would like to learn more about the benefits of having part-time care in the home, please reach out to us at Take My Hand At-Home Care here in Lynden. We provide support all over the region, from Blaine to Bellingham, and we’d love to talk about your needs.

Is your mom or dad ready for care? A TMH client profile

March 6, 2019 By Take My Hand

We often hear from concerned sons and daughters that their parents might be ready for some at-home assistance, but they’re not sure. Sometimes the kids are hesitant to suggest the idea to parents, and sometimes parents aren’t keen on accepting care.

It can be hard to know when is the right time to suggest care. To offer some assistance, consider this sample profile of a TMH client. Not every client will look like this, certainly, but this is one good example of the type of people who can benefit from at-home care.

Mom and dad are both in their 80s, living in a small, one-floor home in Birch Bay. They have two children, but neither lives close enough to provide regular assistance. The daughter lives in Seattle, and the son lives in Sedro-Woolley. Both of them are married with children, and their days are full and busy.

Dad still drives, which has been helpful for making the extra doctor’s appointments lately that have arisen from mom’s advancing dementia. He has gotten into a couple minor fender-benders in the last couple of months, though, and that’s beginning to be a worrisome trend. Some family members have questioned whether dad should still be driving. He already has stopped driving at night, because it can be so hard to see, and that has placed a few limitations on he and mom. For example, they don’t go out to bingo nights or dance events at the senior center any more, and those used to be beloved hobbies.

Even without going to dances, the couple is still pretty active. They try to walk every day. Dad had a fall last week, though — slipped on a stray magazine in the living room — and that left him with some painful bruises on his right hip. Nothing is broken, thankfully, but the experience reminded him that getting around isn’t as easy as it used to be.

There’s a small grocery store about four blocks from their house, but they’re not walking there as much anymore, and even less so with dad’s fall. They could probably use a few groceries to stock up the fridge and pantry.

This couple is the perfect candidate for two or three half-day shifts per week. They’re pretty active and healthy, and they’re far from needing 24-hour care. However, they would really benefit from assistance getting to the doctor’s office and help with the weekly grocery shopping. They could use someone to tidy up the house once a week and ensure that everything is in its proper place. They could also use some help communicating with doctors and ensuring that medicines are taken on time, and it would be good to have someone around to monitor mom. (Her dementia isn’t far along, but it would be good to have someone checking in on her now and again and looking at how it’s affecting dad, too.)

The 12-hour shifts would take a lot of pressure off of dad and would allow the couple to relax a bit, worrying less about the details and spending more time enjoying each other’s company.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, perhaps your mom or dad — or someone else in your life — could benefit from having a licensed caregiver helping out on half-day shifts. Just give us a call and we can talk about your options.

Tips for recognizing and preventing pressure sores

June 6, 2018 By Take My Hand

We all know how uncomfortable it is to sit or lie in one position for a long time.

For those who have limited ability to change positions or are confined to a bed or wheelchair, not only is it uncomfortable, it can cause pressure sores from prolonged pressure on the skin, which limits blood flow to the skin, depriving it of nutrients and oxygen. Pressure sores can be serious, but they can be prevented with just a little extra care and attention.

This kind of damage to the skin is also referred to as a bed sore or pressure ulcer and most often occurs on skin that covers bony areas of the body, such as:

Heels
Ankles
Hips
Tailbone
Shoulder blades and spine
Back or sides of the head for someone who is bedridden

Not only are pressure sores painful, they can be serious and require medical attention. It’s important to keep an eye out for areas on the skin that are showing signs of redness, tenderness, swelling and other types of irritation.

The Mayo Clinic lists these symptoms and warning signs of pressure ulcers:

Unusual changes in skin color or texture
Swelling
An area of skin that feels cooler or warmer to the touch than other areas
Tender areas

Pressure sores can develop quickly, and since they respond best to treatment when detected early, it’s important to check for sores daily and focus on prevention, especially with elderly individuals who may be aging in place at home.

Tips for helping loved ones prevent pressure sores:

Ensure someone is available to help your mom or dad shift weight frequently and change positions every hour or two.
Keep skin clean and dry. Moisture is a common culprit. Use mild soap and a soft cloth.
Be aware that buttons, zippers, and even folds in clothing or bedding can cause skin irritation.
Make sure they eat nutritious foods and drink plenty of fluids.
Take appropriate daily exercise. This might mean going for a walk, or something as simple as range of motion exercises such as lifting an arm and holding it up for a few moments.
Use pillows. Pillows can help prevent bed sores by being placed between parts of the body that press against each other — such as between the legs when lying on their side, or for cushioning under the tailbone, heels or elbows.

Caregivers at Take My Hand At-Home Care can help your parent or grandparent stay safe by proactively working to prevent pressure sores. At-home caregivers can help monitor skin conditions and treat early-onset bed sores before they become too serious. The awareness and care that we provide can help your loved one shift positions, get up and get moving, eat regularly and stay hydrated, clean and comfortable.

To learn more about the symptoms, causes, risk factors, complications and prevention of pressure sores, visit the Mayo Clinic website.

Our caregiver and home companion service is a locally owned and operated eldercare provider helping seniors in Whatcom County continue to live at home safely. If you would like more information about hiring help at home for an aging family member, and how we can help care for your loved one, contact Take My Hand At-Home Care.

Today, prepare for tomorrow’s healthcare decisions

April 4, 2018 By Take My Hand

Planning ahead isn’t always an easy task. But it’s almost always an important one.

When it comes to making preparations for caring for your aging loved ones — or yourself, for that matter — the sooner you get started, the better. National Healthcare Decisions Day is coming up on April 16, so let that be a motivator for you to begin the process of planning for old age.

The first step in the preparation process is to make yourself aware of the various options available for eldercare.

At-home care: It should be no secret that we at Take My Hand At-Home Care are big fans of care that takes place in the comfort of home. Every single time our caregivers step foot in a client’s home, we see the immense value of care that takes place in a familiar environment. For starters, at-home care can be less expensive than living full-time in a long-term care or assisted-living facility. Aging in place also can allow for greater comfort and flexibility, both for the elderly and for their loved ones. The National Institutes of Health has wonderful tips for growing old at home, including tips on meals, money management and getting around.

Regular or occasional support from a licensed and insured caregiver can help the elderly stay in the comfort of home while alleviating some common worries, such as how they’ll shop for groceries, get to doctor’s appointments or even get dressed. TMH caregivers can help with all of that and more, and it’s a wonderful option for those who want long-term care at home in the comfort of familiar surroundings.

Assisted living and long-term care: When staying at home is not an option, for health or other reasons, long-term care away from the home remains a good option. One thing that Take My Hand At-Home Care always tries to do in our free, in-home consultations is offer advice for what seems like the best level of care. We do offer 24-hour care, but in situations where TMH is not able to help, we try to recommend alternative options, such as long-term care in a separate facility. If you’re curious what might be the best option for you or for an aging loved one, feel free to set up a complementary home consultation with Take My Hand.

As you’re thinking about this topic, you might want to reach out to other local services that provide assistance to the elderly. Whatcom County is home to numerous wonderful resources.

Four ways to say ‘I love you’ to the elderly

February 7, 2018 By Take My Hand

Search Pinterest for quotes about love, and you’re likely to come across some version of the following statement: “There are a million ways of saying ‘I love you’: ‘Watch your step.’ ‘Get some rest.’ ‘Put your seatbelt on.’”

It’s true; there are myriad ways of showing your loved ones exactly how much you care. With that in mind, we thought it would be nice — it is the month of love, after all — to offer a few ways of saying “I love you” to the elderly in your life.

Essentially, they all come down to one thing: time. When it comes to gifts, physical presents typically aren’t ideal — they often just clutter up the home. Instead of things, here are some time-based gifts you can share with the elderly in your life:

Cook and serve a meal. More even than the food, which itself can make a large impact, the benefit to cooking and serving a meal to an elderly loved one is that you simply took the time to do it. Loved ones will enjoy spending time with you as they try out a new dish or enjoy an old favorite. After the meal, be sure to clean up and wash the dishes!

Look through old photos together and chat about memories. Once you’ve done this, you’ll probably be asking yourself why you haven’t done it more often.

These reminisce-and-gab sessions can be a treasure, and they’ll probably also lead to stories you’ve never heard before about family history.

Take them for a walk and/or help them run errands. Let’s face it: Moving around gets harder the older we get. Without someone to help, we can lose trust in our ability to walk without falling. Helping loved ones enjoy the great outdoors — and maybe accomplish a few tasks while they’re at it, like picking up a prescription or buying groceries — can really make their week. Give it a chance, and it’ll probably make yours, too!

Set up a complimentary in-home assessment with a licensed caregiver. A no-obligation, completely free consultation with an at-home care provider like Take My Hand At Home Care can help loved ones discover areas to make life more enjoyable. A typical assessment will cover a number of topics, including:

Home safety: Is the home safe for your loved one to age in place?
Daily routines: What does your loved one like to do on a daily basis, and what are his or her personal preferences? What are your loved one’s personal background, interests, family and hobbies?
Medical needs: What medications are being taken, and what other medical information is important? Does your loved one need assistance with doctor visits?
Service cost: What is the cost of at-home care services, and what insurance will cover it?

For more information, contact the licensed caregivers at Take My Hand At Home Care in Lynden.

Whatcom County resources for older adults and their caregivers

December 6, 2017 By Take My Hand

Occasionally, we sit back and think about how fortunate we are to have such amazing resources available in Whatcom County for senior care. Truly, there are wonderful support systems in place in Bellingham and throughout the area.

With the new year approaching, many are thinking about how to make positive changes in life (and in the lives of those in their care). These resources can help. Here are a few we often rely on at Take My Hand At-Home Care:

Northwest Regional Council: The NWRC is the hub of the wheel when it comes to resources for senior citizens in Whatcom County. Begun in 1971 as a collaboration among Island, San Juan, Skagit and Whatcom County elected officials, NWRC focuses on providing services for adults with disabilities and the elderly. As Northwest Washington’s Area Agency on Aging, it provides a host of services for everyone needing long-term care. With information both for the aging and for their family caregivers, NWRC is a lifeline for those who need it. Just give them a call to see what options might be available for your unique family situation.

Whatcom Council on Aging: The WCOA, an independent nonprofit serving local senior citizens since 1964, offers a number of services for area adults, including the Meals on Wheels and More program, Bellingham Senior Activity Center and Bellingham at Home, a virtual community for area seniors.

Elder Service Providers: Speaking of support for caregivers, Elder Service Providers does wonders in Whatcom County for those who care for others including skilled nursing facilities, assisted living, caregiver agencies and more. Their mission is to build up the community of caregivers in Whatcom County, and they do it in a number of ways, including monthly luncheons and an annual caregiver conference.

Alzheimer Society of Washington: Those caring for individuals with dementia or other memory issues can benefit greatly from the Alzheimer Society of Washington, which is based in Bellingham. In addition to a number of support groups for caregivers and support groups for individuals with memory loss, the Alzheimer Society provides Staying Connected classes to provide ongoing support for those with early memory loss and dementia-related diseases.

These are a handful of Whatcom County organizations that provide wonderful support both for caregivers and for their loved ones. Of course, you may always contact Take My Hand At-Home Care for more information; we can help guide you through the process of caring for an elderly loved one at home. We are here to help!

The benefits of choosing at-home care

November 8, 2017 By Take My Hand

When choosing the type of care to provide for your aging loved ones, one of the biggest considerations, inevitably, is cost.

This is one of the many areas in which at-home care shines. Depending on the amount of care needed, at-home care can be a less expensive option than full-time residence in a long-term care or assisted-living facility — all while providing one-on-one, personal care and attention in the beloved environment of home.

However, cost is far from the only consideration. Your loved ones have worked hard their entire lives to support their families and provide for their future; now it’s time to focus on what’s best for them.

Whether they need just a little assistance now and again, or whether they need full-time care, life at home with a personal caregiver can provide your loved ones with the comfort, quality and ease of life they deserve.

Personal care and attention: When it comes to the retirement years, it’s hard to beat the personal care provided by a companion caregiver. Beginning with an in-home consultation and continuing through customized schedules and personalized care plans, every detail is tailored specifically for each person with whom we work.

The comfort of home: Not only do loved ones get a personal caregiver, but they get it in the familiar surroundings of home. At home, everything from the pictures on the walls to the layout of the furniture is comfortable and inviting. This can be particularly great for those seniors with dementia, but everyone can benefit from growing older in a place that’s well-known and familiar.

Less travel: Especially for those elderly who have mobility issues, in-home care can provide wonderful benefits. Caregivers can assist with medication monitoring, household errands, grocery shopping, light housekeeping and more. When doctor visits are necessary, at-home caregivers can provide accompaniment and even share necessary info with loved ones after the visit.

Family visits: At home, there are no visiting hours, quiet times or roommates to contend with. Loved ones can visit whenever is convenient. Plus, those who want to help out can do so at a time and location that’s best for everyone.

More independence: At home, comfortable surroundings can lead to a greater degree of confidence. You know where things are, how they work and how to use them. Additionally, at home, the homeowner is in charge of decision-making.

Take My Hand At-Home Care provides companion care services to senior citizens in Lynden, Bellingham, Ferndale, Blaine, Everson, Nooksack, Sumas, Birch Bay and throughout Whatcom County.

For help ensuring that your loved ones get the lives they deserve in their older years, contact Take My Hand.

Caring for a loved one with dementia

September 6, 2017 By Take My Hand

“Please remember the real me when I cannot remember you.”

This quote, sometimes referred to as the dementia creed, speaks to the pain experienced by those on both sides of a relationship with dementia. As memories fade from the minds of the elderly, they experience the loss of those they’ve loved. Meanwhile, their family caregivers do their best to look beyond the disease to the person they’ve known and loved for decades.

Nearly 16 million people in the United States are caring for a family member with dementia, according to figures from the Alzheimer’s Association. It often can seem like a lonely and overwhelming job, but help is always available.

Here are a few tips for coping with daily life as an adult family caregiver of an individual with Alzheimer’s or some other form of memory loss:

Start by learning as much as you can about dementia. Knowing about the details of the disease can help you make sense of the changes that are happening to your loved one. One great way to educate yourself is by attending the Alzheimer Society of Washington’s fall conference on Oct. 13, 2017. This year, the theme is “the changing brain.”

Be realistic about what you can and can’t do. If you’ve had children, try to remember what it was like for those first few years (well, all of them, really). Try as you did, you weren’t a perfect parent, and nor were your kids little angels. When dealing with dementia, know that there will be bad days and good days. Don’t beat yourself up if either of you struggles.

Communicate simply, clearly and positively. Starting with a smile and positive disposition can change the entire tenor of a conversation. Speak simply, with short sentences, and don’t ask complex or open-ended questions.

Love who your loved one is. Yearning for the return of the good old days can lead to dissatisfaction and depression. Instead of wishing that your loved one was like he or she was several decades ago, mourn the loss and meet your loved one in the present. Many caregivers avoid this step because it seems like such a loss. It’s true; it is a loss, and recognizing that can help you move on.

Use technology to your advantage. A number of recent tech innovations have made it easier to know that your loved one can be located should he or she wander off. The Alzheimer Society of Washington uses Project Lifesaver, which outfits those who are prone to wander with a bracelet that emits a special radio frequency, allowing them to be located by first responders in an emergency. The bracelets are free, but the service costs $15 per month for batteries and changing. Other options:

Alzheimer’s Association Safe Return, which partners with MedicAlert to provide a 24-hour, nationwide emergency response service.
MindMe is a GPS personal alarm that also comes with 24-hour emergency service.
Instead of being worn like a watch or pendant, the GPS SmartSole fits into a shoe; like other GPS devices for wanderers, it allows the wearer to be tracked from a computer or smartphone.

Seek assistance when needed. Call on family members to provide companionship and other help whenever possible. Join a caregiver support group to seek the advice and solace of others in your shoes. Hire a part-time caregiver to give you regular (even overnight) respite. Take My Hand At-Home Care is a locally owned and operated eldercare provider with years of experience caring for older adults with dementia in Whatcom County.

Technology can aid in helping loved ones stay home

August 2, 2017 By Take My Hand

“Ah, there is nothing like staying at home,” wrote Jane Austen in her novel Emma, “for real comfort.”

That’s a principle taken to heart by the staff here at Take My Hand At-Home Care.

When parents, grandparents, friends and neighbors need long- or short-term help with daily living needs, the most comfortable and convenient place for them to receive care is at the place with which they’re most familiar: home.

For those who live far away from their loved ones, however, ensuring that they get the help they need can be difficult.

Thankfully, today’s technological age offers several good solutions. From the other side of the city, the state or the world, these three tech tricks can prove invaluable in staying in touch with loved ones and their care providers.

Keep in mind that no gadget can replace the safety, security and personal touch offered by a licensed caregiver, so all of these technologies will work best when paired with an at-home attendant such as those provided by Take My Hand’s 12-hour overnight shifts.

Video chat: Technologies such as Skype, Google Hangouts, Facetime and others can help prevent isolation while allowing you to chat with your loved one. Regular chats provide something for everyone to look forward to while also giving defined intervals for updates and progress checks.

Online monitoring: At Take My Hand At-Home Care, loved ones can log in to the website to see which caregiver is scheduled to be in the home providing care at any given time. Through this safe and secure system, loved ones near or far can monitor caregiver schedules for parents, grandparents, friends or neighbors, allowing them to put a name to the caregiver and a person to contact should questions arise.

GPS tracking: This can be particularly helpful for senior citizens who are especially mobile. When an individual misses a doctor’s appointment, for example, loved ones can track their location via their cell phone or other device to get insight into what might be happening.

Telephone calls: Often overlooked in today’s over-the-top tech world, mobile phones are a revolution in providing an ability for loved ones to stay in touch. Because they’re so mobile, elderly loved ones can keep them nearby at all times, meaning that they (and you) are always just a phone call away.

As mentioned above, no gadget is foolproof; another solid way to ensure the wellbeing of a loved one is via the personal touch of a caregiver.

ake My Hand At-Home Care, Whatcom County Elder Care Provider logo

Take My Hand At-Home Care offers various shifts, from 12-hour overnight care up to 24-hour, round-the-clock assistance, that provide invaluable assistance for individuals during the aging process and peace of mind for their loved ones.