Caregiving | Take My Hand At Home

How to help widowers connect with others and find new purpose in life

February 12, 2020 By Take My Hand

Imagine one day losing the spouse you’ve had for decades.

Having lived with the same person for most of your life, the loss would be phenomenal. Not only would you lose the love of your life, you’d also need to start doing everything on your own — cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, visiting the doctor… the list goes on.

Elderly man in a jacket sitting and looking at the camera

You’d also lose a social connection and a major reason to stay involved with others in your community. Without your spouse at your side, you’d be less likely to attend events, go out for meals and travel.

Here at Take My Hand At-Home Care, we have come across numerous situations just like this. Losing a spouse later in life happens quite frequently to senior citizens in the Whatcom County community.

Not only must widows or widowers deal with the loss of a loved one, but they also must cope with major lifestyle changes. They lose the person with whom they used to watch TV or go on walks. They lose the person who used to remind them to take their medications; they lose the person who used to help them plan fun things to do. They lose their social connections.

These are all real consequences of losing a long-time partner, and the effects can be drastic.

Loneliness after the death of a spouse

According to the National Institute on Aging, social isolation and loneliness are linked to increased risks for high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease and even death.

“Losing a sense of connection and community changes a person’s perception of the world,” according to the NIA. And it’s not just perception. Biological defense mechanisms are activated in those who experience chronic loneliness because they feel threatened and mistrustful.

While older women are more likely than men to report being lonely, the effects of loneliness can be more drastic in older men, who are more likely than women to be depressed and suicidal when lonely, according to a recent study published in the American Journal of Men’s Health.

How to help people stay connected to life after loss

What can change someone’s outlook after loss?

Being social provides an enormous benefit, as does having another person around to provide support and motivation or to offer assistance with daily tasks of living. In particular, men benefit from having purpose in life, according to the AJMH study, which notes that improvements in mental health and purpose in life can help reduce loneliness — and thus reduce many of its negative consequences — in older men.

Elderly man taking photos outdoors, with mountains in the background

Pursuing hobbies and other passions is one great option for combating the consequences of loneliness. Joining a senior center, too, can help the elderly make new friends and find new hobbies. Those who have experienced recent loss might also benefit from having their family and friends take them to activities and events, or even just pick up the phone and invite them to dinner.

Help at home: An out-of-the-box gift idea that can make a difference

November 4, 2019 By Take My Hand

Approximately 85 percent of caregivers in the United States provide care for a family member or other loved one — mother, father, child, friend, grandparent — and spend, on average, between 24 and 40 hours per week at the task. And that’s often in addition to trying to hold down a job or take charge of other responsibilities.

It’s a lot of work.

Do you have a family caregiver? Or do you know someone (a husband or wife, maybe, or a devoted child) who provides care for an aging loved one in Whatcom County?

That caregiver needs recurring breaks.

The day that a family caregiver can take a break is the day he can go into Lynden for Bible study. It’s the day she can get her hair done at her favorite place in Ferndale. It’s the day he or she can head into Bellingham and knock out all of the shopping and errands for the next couple of weeks, relieving a giant stress.

The night that a family caregiver gets a break is the night he or she can finally get some sleep, free of the stress of worrying about caring for an elderly loved one.

This holiday season, consider the immense blessing that the gift of a day off can bring. Time away from the stress and pressures of work is an important part of self-care for family caregivers.

It’s not uncommon for caregivers to experience burnout, stress, depression and high blood pressure. And the list certainly doesn’t stop there. Family caregivers do their work because they are committed to do it; they made a promise to the person they’re caring for, and they want that person — their husband or wife or mom or dad or brother or sister – to know they will be well cared for.

But commitment doesn’t make the work of caregiving easier. That doesn’t keep feelings of guilt, anger or resentment from occasionally toppling a caregiver’s sense of serenity or purpose. When a person is caring for a spouse, the relationship sometimes changes from experiencing shared joys and intimacy to taking care of someone in need of constant attention. Sometimes, that person has dementia, and the caregiver must bear the burden of watching their loved one slowly disappear.

That caregiver needs a break.

This Christmas, consider who in your life needs a day away from the burdens of caregiving. One eight-hour shift per week — or even every other week — could provide enormous relief for a family caregiver. Maybe this person is someone caring for you, or maybe it’s a sibling caring for your mom or dad. No matter who it is who could use temporary respite, the gift of regular caregiving assistance will continue to pay dividends all year long for Bellingham, Nooksack Valley, Ferndale and Lynden family caregivers.

Take My Hand At-Home Care provides a range of respite and caregiving services for individuals and families throughout Whatcom County — from 24-hour live-in care to part-time caregiving assistance a few days per month. These services allow people who need a preliminary form of assisted living to remain living at home, and they allow family caregivers the break they need to recharge.

Eldercare: Paratransit vs. private transportation

October 9, 2019 By Take My Hand

The bus rolled up outside her home. The driver engaged the wheelchair lift and helped her maneuver to the sidewalk. He was so helpful! As she rolled toward her home, she eyed the temporary ramp leading to the front door. It was starting rain; she was nervous about navigating that ramp on her own.

Thankfully, she had arranged for a private caregiver to be there to help her get up that ramp and settled into her home. The friendly caregiver was walking toward her now and greeting her by name. What a relief!

The benefits of paratransit services

Paratransit from Whatcom Transportation Authority is a fantastic service at a great price (just $1 per ride, generally). They help many, many people move around Whatcom County, including the elderly, disabled and those with mobility challenges.

To be eligible for paratransit rides, an application needs to be submitted to the transit operator. Riders (or their representatives) may be able to take part in a phone interview as an alternative. Either way, the paratransit operator will need to know why the rider is unable to ride buses on existing fixed routes throughout Whatcom County.

Signing up for paratransit can be a fairly easy process, and WTA does a nice job providing this service in our community.

Shared transportation is not always a good fit

Sometimes, however, public transportation does not line up with the needs of a rider.

For example, paratransit services generally mirror the times and locations of fixed routes, so riders may not be able to use the service on their schedule or at the time they need if they’re in an unserved part of the county or if it’s early or late in the day. Those living in rural areas of Whatcom County may find it a challenge to use paratransit services on certain days of the week.

Another item to note is that paratransit trips are shared with other riders. Transit operators schedule their daily service routes to include picking up and dropping off people along a certain route. They work to include the time it takes to load passengers who use mobility devices and the time it takes to wait through unforeseen traffic.

For a 1 p.m. appointment, for example, the bus may need to pick the rider up at 11:30 a.m. or noon to account for other stops along the route. That’s totally understandable; that’s how public transportation works.

Due to bus rides that may be 45 minutes or longer, using public transportation can be difficult for older adults with a variety of health conditions, such as joint stiffness and bladder issues.

An alternative for paratransit in Whatcom County

For those looking for an alternative to paratransit, caregivers from Take My Hand At-Home Care can be hired to provide personal transportation that gets older adults and disabled individuals from door to door — inside a doctor’s office and inside their home (settled in, even) — on a schedule that works for them.

Hiring a caregiver to provide private transportation is an efficient, worry-free way to be transported to many places, such as social outings, family events and medical appointments.

Licensed caregiver companions can even sit in on doctor’s appointments and relay info to family members who could not be present. They can ask questions on behalf of the patient and advocate on their behalf. This is a great option for adult children who are trying to help their parent while residing in another city or state.

The benefits of hiring private transportation

No long periods of waiting. No concern about being too early or late for appointments. No worrying about making it through a long bus ride without access to a restroom. No wondering about managing mobility challenges into the home. The benefits are many!

If you have loved ones living in Lynden, Bellingham, Ferndale or somewhere else in Whatcom County, and if they would benefit from personal transportation and help from a part-time caregiver – maybe because they’re recovering from surgery, or maybe because they’re older and need assistance getting around – please connect them with Take My Hand At-Home Care.

The value of a little help at home

September 7, 2019 By Take My Hand

An elderly woman looks at a large collection of flowers under a green and white tent. — At-home care can free us up to do the things we love, like browse the gorgeous flowers at the farmers’ market.

As we age, it can be common for us to start to scale back our activities.

After all, many of the things we’re used to doing — whether the activities we do for fun or the stuff of daily life — can become more difficult as our bodies and minds start to slow down.

Driving is harder, doing laundry is harder, gardening is harder, walking from point A to point B is harder, finding the motivation to exercise is harder, shopping is harder…

None of these things is impossible, of course — they’re all just a bit more difficult than they have been. Under these circumstances, our worlds can get smaller and less active.

That’s where a little at-home assistance really can be a great service. A little help around the house can be an enormous relief; having a caregiver companion stop by two to three times per week can really help seniors LIVE their lives.

Learn more: How Take My Hand helps Lynden senior Bernadette Millar live a full life.

In essence, having a little help around the home can actually increase a elderly individual’s independence.

That’s an important point to note, because one concern we hear occasionally here at Take My Hand At-Home Care is that caregivers can be limiting for an elderly person’s lifestyle. In fact, the eldery sometimes think that when their family recommends a caregiver, the goal is to take away their independence.

In truth, your family is not trying to take your independence away, they are trying to help you LIVE and enjoy what you have. If your loved ones are resistant to care, here are a few tips to help continue the conversation.

Learn more: How to tell whether your mom or dad is ready for at-home care.

A part-time caregiver at home can help you pursue your passions. A caregiver can help give you time, energy and drive to pursue health long into the future. In-home support can be an activity companion, working with you on fun activities that help maintain brain health. And with the holidays coming up soon, don’t overlook the many ways a caregiver can help with the Thanksgiving and Christmas prep and festivities.

To learn more about how Take My Hand At-Home Care can provide help for you or an elderly loved one, just give us a call or send a message online. Our experienced care providers are standing by to help!

‘We all need others in our lives’

August 7, 2019 By Take My Hand

[ Editor’s note: Originally published in the Lynden Tribune ]

Bernadette Millar, center, gets everyday help and also socializing with Heidi Sorensen and Sue Sorensen. Photo by Laura Place/Lynden Tribune.

For Lynden senior Bernadette Millar, meeting with her caretaker Heidi Sorensen each week not only helps her with her everyday tasks, but provides a sense of companionship. Sometimes the two go shopping together, or Heidi helps Bernadette with her bills and appointments.

Bernadette has been meeting regularly with Heidi for three years now, after being connected to the in-home care service of Take My Hand of Lynden following a visit from her son and daughter-in-law. Those relatives made the initial connection to Take My Hand, and owner Sue Sorensen (Heidi’s mother-in-law) reached out to Bernadette directly.

“I didn’t call her — she called me,” Bernadette recalled. “It came right at the right time.”

Bernadette stopped being able to drive herself around a few years ago after a bad fall that resulted in nerve damage. She said the loss of the ability to drive a vehicle was devastating, but now being able to go to the places she needs to go and get out of her condo every once in a while with Heidi gives her something to look forward to.

The care service offers assistance to seniors with various tasks based on their needs, such as taking medication, scheduling appointments and going on errands. Or, as in Bernadette’s case, the client and caretaker will just go and enjoy coffee together.

“We do everything, from companionship to end-of-life care,” Sue Sorensen said.

For Bernadette, it’s a gift to be able to get out of the house with Heidi and know all of her appointments and bills are organized. Just as important, Sue points out, is having someone to laugh with. Sitting in Woods Coffee at Bender Plaza on a Friday outing, Bernadette and Heidi laugh together about Bernadette’s favorite saying, “Can’t be bothered.”

“I thought it was ‘think positively’?” Heidi asks.

“I’m always positive!” Bernadette says back, smiling.

This companionship from a caretaker can help to combat some of the isolation and loneliness experienced by many senior citizens, making it one of the most important aspects of the service offered by Take My Hand, Sue Sorensen said. Even just going on outings a couple of times a week gives clients something to look forward to.

“It’s a big deal for them, to get out of the house,” Sorensen said of the clients who are assisted by Take My Hand. “We all want to be independent, but we all need others in our lives.”

Take My Hand At-Home Care can be reached at 360-543-5777 and online at takemyhandathome.com.

So, your parents have refused help. Now what?

June 5, 2019 By Take My Hand

As our parents and other elderly loved ones age, it’s common for us to increase in concern for their well-being. Perhaps we’re nervous about their ability to drive safely, or we’re careful to ensure that they attend all necessary appointments with their doctor.

Our concern is one of the biggest reasons we begin suggesting that our parents start thinking of assistance — we want to be sure they get needed at-home help with daily tasks, or we want them to live in a place where their needs are attended to on a regular basis.

But what can we do if they refuse help? It’s true that many of our elderly loved ones reject the idea of care, wanting to remain independent, to save on the cost of assistance, or for some other reason.

Here are a few tips that may help when you have “the talk” with your loved ones about care:

Listen and try to see things from their perspective. Aging can be scary. Having to rely on others can be frightening. Your loved one might be anxious about feeling helpless or guilty about being a burden to others. Take time to listen to their concerns and try to empathize with how they feel.

Patiently discuss what help around the home might look like. It may help to look at specific aspects of life with your loved one and discuss how things might be improved with good assistance. The elderly often don’t realize that they’re ready for assistance until they’re able to understand how at-home care can help them accomplish important daily or weekly tasks.

Gently suggest that your loved one might appreciate help doing the weekly shopping, picking up prescriptions, cleaning the house or getting out of the house for a walk now and then. People can reject having decisions made for them. Discuss the many options available to your parents — from occasional care in the comfort of home to full-time care in an assisted living center — and try to let them decide for themselves where in that range they might be.

Regarding at-home care, it’s good to remember that it can be adjusted to the needs of the individual, so it can be as involved (or not) as necessary. Say a loved one doesn’t want assistance because he or she feels it will be too restricting. At-home care can actually increase a person’s freedom by freeing them up to do what they love, and/or assist them in it.

Learn more: Is your mom or dad ready for care?

Share your concerns and discuss various healthcare options. Here is where you can share specific areas of concern that you have for your loved one. Often, hearing about this concern from a beloved child or friend can have a big impact. If you’ve been the primary caregiver but no longer have the time or energy you used to, mention that you would like to bring in other caregivers to help out.

This could be a good way to ease into the conversation about other types of care down the road, too. If you’re able to chat casually about future healthcare decisions before they’re imminent, you’ll all be much more ready to have that talk when it does come.

Learn more: The benefits of at-home care

Get advice from an outside expert. In our in-home consultations, we try to understand what’s best for each client, even if it means that caregivers from Take My Hand won’t be involved. If you’d like to learn more, please reach out. We would be happy to help explain the best next steps to your reluctant loved one.

Why work in at-home care?

May 2, 2019 By Take My Hand

The home care industry continues to see astounding growth. In 2016, there were roughly 2 million personal care attendants in the United States, and that figure is expected to grow by 40 percent over the next decade. This projection is attributable to the fact that a record 50 million people aged 65 and older currently live in the U.S., and by 2030 this number is expected to increase by 20 million.

Simply put, at-home care is in demand.

That’s not the only reason to consider a position in at-home caregiving, however. At-home care offers a wonderful opportunity for caregivers to truly make a difference in the lives of the elderly.

Let’s look in more detail at some reasons why people would work in at-home care:

A caregiver in a red jacket pushes an older woman in a wheelchair down a concrete ramp.

Build friendships and provide comfort to those who need it. Isolation can be hazardous to seniors’ health, and as many as one in six seniors faces the repercussions of loneliness in their daily lives. At-home care offers CNAs, licensed nurses and other caregivers an opportunity to combat elder loneliness by building meaningful friendships with seniors.

Work at a slower pace and with more flexible hours. Providing care in the home can be less demanding than working in an assisted-living facility or hospital. Hours are generally more flexible, and care is slower-paced. Supporting one person is a much different experience than rushing from bed to bed serving numerous patients each day. With the slower pace, caregivers also find that they have more time to get to know their clients through the sharing of stories and experiences. Clients are often full of wonderful life advice!

Help maximize health and wellness. At-home caregivers typically are involved in helping the elderly remember medications, providing good communication with doctors and assisting in such daily tasks as bathing, walking, cooking and shopping. Thus, caregivers play critical roles in the ongoing health of their clients. Plus, at-home care affords the opportunity to see all aspects of a person, not just their medical conditions or daily needs. In the comfort of home, caregivers can get to know clients on a deeper, more personal level.

A caregiver stands in a grassy field with her elderly client as they watch the sunset together.

Make a difference in someone’s life. Take My Hand At-Home Care often is mentioned in obituaries when a person passes. Why? Because our caregivers tend to make huge impressions in seniors’ lives, whether it’s through expert assistance, kind compassion or genuine friendship. We’re proud of our reputation for kind, compassionate care that makes an impression on the elderly and their loved ones.

Take My Hand At-Home Care has been providing personal, professional support for the elderly in Whatcom County since 2012. Our eldercare options include daily shifts and even 24-hour live-in assistance, which allows seniors to age-in-place instead of moving to a long-term care facility. We are fully licensed, bonded and insured. Our professional caregivers have been trained and certified to provide compassionate care to elders in Washington state.

When you’re healthy but your spouse isn’t, here’s how to cope

April 3, 2019 By Take My Hand

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 60 percent of Americans live with a chronic disease, such as heart disease, cancer, stroke or diabetes.

Given those percentages, there inevitably are a great many “well spouses” who are caring for a sick person daily.

When you’re the spouse who isn’t ill, how do you cope with the challenges while protecting your own health? Providing care for a spouse can be difficult, but it can be done, and done well. Here are some actions that can help:

Get educated. Caring for a sick spouse starts with making sure you know what you can about your loved one’s disease. “Well spouses cope better when they, like their partners, have accurate, firsthand information about their mate’s condition, treatment and needs,” says Johns Hopkins Medicine. A good place to start is the Northwest Regional Council, which through its Family Caregiver Support Program has many educational resources available, including a collection of loanable library resources and informational booklets on Alzheimer’s and dementia, depression and caring for the caregiver.

Get help. You don’t need to do it alone. Providing loving, compassionate care for a spouse 24/7 takes a lot out of you. Take time for yourself to do the things you enjoy: walking the dog, shopping, reading a book, relaxing. “If someone wants to be there for their loved one, it’s not selfish to ask for help,” says Lynette Whiteman, who runs a caregiver volunteer agency, in a story from A Place for Mom about caregiver health. “By getting help, they’re helping their loved one.” Options for support include reaching out to Northwest Regional Council’s Family Caregiver Support Program or hiring occasional help to care for your loved one, such as the services w e provide here at Take My Hand At-Home Care. From half-day respite shifts to 24-hour care, we provide family caregivers the support they need.

Take comfort from others. Next Avenue conducted a series of interviews with adults whose spouses have a chronic illness, and the advice those people shared is tender, touching and helpful. Consider this, from a man who took care of his wife for a dozen years while she was in a wheelchair: “I am grateful for the time we had and the help I had from all of the health care professionals over those years. I learned from her and from them how very precious life is.” Next Avenue’s report, titled “When One Spouse Is Healthy and the Other Isn’t,” is worth a read. You also might check out a local support group for caregivers or an online forum (such as this one at Caregiver Action Network) where you can vent your frustrations, ask for advice and learn from the experience of others.

If you’re in Whatcom County and caring for a sick spouse or loved one and would like to learn more about the benefits of having part-time care in the home, please reach out to us at Take My Hand At-Home Care here in Lynden. We provide support all over the region, from Blaine to Bellingham, and we’d love to talk about your needs.

Is your mom or dad ready for care? A TMH client profile

March 6, 2019 By Take My Hand

We often hear from concerned sons and daughters that their parents might be ready for some at-home assistance, but they’re not sure. Sometimes the kids are hesitant to suggest the idea to parents, and sometimes parents aren’t keen on accepting care.

It can be hard to know when is the right time to suggest care. To offer some assistance, consider this sample profile of a TMH client. Not every client will look like this, certainly, but this is one good example of the type of people who can benefit from at-home care.

Mom and dad are both in their 80s, living in a small, one-floor home in Birch Bay. They have two children, but neither lives close enough to provide regular assistance. The daughter lives in Seattle, and the son lives in Sedro-Woolley. Both of them are married with children, and their days are full and busy.

Dad still drives, which has been helpful for making the extra doctor’s appointments lately that have arisen from mom’s advancing dementia. He has gotten into a couple minor fender-benders in the last couple of months, though, and that’s beginning to be a worrisome trend. Some family members have questioned whether dad should still be driving. He already has stopped driving at night, because it can be so hard to see, and that has placed a few limitations on he and mom. For example, they don’t go out to bingo nights or dance events at the senior center any more, and those used to be beloved hobbies.

Even without going to dances, the couple is still pretty active. They try to walk every day. Dad had a fall last week, though — slipped on a stray magazine in the living room — and that left him with some painful bruises on his right hip. Nothing is broken, thankfully, but the experience reminded him that getting around isn’t as easy as it used to be.

There’s a small grocery store about four blocks from their house, but they’re not walking there as much anymore, and even less so with dad’s fall. They could probably use a few groceries to stock up the fridge and pantry.

This couple is the perfect candidate for two or three half-day shifts per week. They’re pretty active and healthy, and they’re far from needing 24-hour care. However, they would really benefit from assistance getting to the doctor’s office and help with the weekly grocery shopping. They could use someone to tidy up the house once a week and ensure that everything is in its proper place. They could also use some help communicating with doctors and ensuring that medicines are taken on time, and it would be good to have someone around to monitor mom. (Her dementia isn’t far along, but it would be good to have someone checking in on her now and again and looking at how it’s affecting dad, too.)

The 12-hour shifts would take a lot of pressure off of dad and would allow the couple to relax a bit, worrying less about the details and spending more time enjoying each other’s company.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, perhaps your mom or dad — or someone else in your life — could benefit from having a licensed caregiver helping out on half-day shifts. Just give us a call and we can talk about your options.

Work for your health: Five things to do now for a happier future

February 6, 2019 By Take My Hand

As caregivers, we often find ourselves in the role of helping people whose health is failing. We get called in to provide needed support to elders whose bodies and/or minds just aren’t working like they used to. It’s a fulfilling line of work, and we enjoy it.

We also enjoy offering tips and advice for seniors to maintain their good health, and for younger people who want to ensure that their minds and bodies are in top form as they grow older.

With that in mind, here are five important things to do throughout your life to ensure that you stay strong and health for as long as you can:

Eat well. The value of eating well cannot be overstated. For a great look at what different foods are good for and how various nutrients are used by the body, check out this comprehensive overview from the University of Minnesota or this brief look at how nutrients affect the body. Why do we need Vitamin A, and where do we get it? How can eating more whole grains help us reduce weight gain? What are beneficial fats? Spend some time researching the value of good nutrition, and make changes in your diet today to maximize the benefits of great food.

Learn more: Are the loved ones in your life
eating healthy? Here’s how to help.

Sleep well. You might have heard that people can go longer without food than without sleep. Good sleep is incredibly important — critical — to good health. And not only that, it’s important to be consistent. Here are some easy ways to improve your ability to sleep well: Avoid caffeine and alcohol late in the day, keep your room dark and quiet, stay off of screens just before bed, and get plenty of exercise during the day.

Learn more: Sleep is important for caregivers, too!
Here’s how to ensure you’re getting what you need.

Get moving. Simply put, staying independent almost always requires staying fit. Good regular exercise can keep your heart strong and prevent such problems as arthritis and diabetes. It’s good for your brain and can help stave off depression, and it’s good for your heart and can prevent heart disease. There is no substitute for an active lifestyle. If you love your body, make use of it and get moving! As a fun way of getting started, connect with a local walking group. You might find one on this list from the Washington Trails Association.

Make friends. All those friends you make on the trail — or at the senior center, at the park, at church, at your favorite volunteer activity — also are important to your long-term physical and mental well-being. Social isolation is a risk factor for depression, and loneliness may be a preclinical sign for Alzheimer’s disease. What can help? Friends.

Challenge your brain. Stimulating social and mental activities can help keep brains sharp, improve memory and help with daily life skills. Here are seven fun ways to ensure you’re getting plenty of great brain exercise.

If you need help with any of these tasks, please feel free to reach out to us here at Take My Hand At-Home Care. We provide non-medical companion and home care services throughout Whatcom County, in daily shifts or even 24-hour live-in assistance.