Take My Hand At Home

At Home Care

When you’re healthy but your spouse isn’t, here’s how to cope

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According to the Centers for Disease Control, 60 percent of Americans live with a chronic disease, such as heart disease, cancer, stroke or diabetes.

Given those percentages, there inevitably are a great many “well spouses” who are caring for a sick person daily.

When you’re the spouse who isn’t ill, how do you cope with the challenges while protecting your own health? Providing care for a spouse can be difficult, but it can be done, and done well. Here are some actions that can help:

Get educated. Caring for a sick spouse starts with making sure you know what you can about your loved one’s disease. “Well spouses cope better when they, like their partners, have accurate, firsthand information about their mate’s condition, treatment and needs,” says Johns Hopkins Medicine. A good place to start is the Northwest Regional Council, which through its Family Caregiver Support Program has many educational resources available, including a collection of loanable library resources and informational booklets on Alzheimer’s and dementia, depression and caring for the caregiver.

Get help. You don’t need to do it alone. Providing loving, compassionate care for a spouse 24/7 takes a lot out of you. Take time for yourself to do the things you enjoy: walking the dog, shopping, reading a book, relaxing. “If someone wants to be there for their loved one, it’s not selfish to ask for help,” says Lynette Whiteman, who runs a caregiver volunteer agency, in a story from A Place for Mom about caregiver health. “By getting help, they’re helping their loved one.” Options for support include reaching out to Northwest Regional Council’s Family Caregiver Support Program or hiring occasional help to care for your loved one, such as the services we provide here at Take My Hand At-Home Care. From half-day respite shifts to 24-hour care, we provide family caregivers the support they need.

Take comfort from others. Next Avenue conducted a series of interviews with adults whose spouses have a chronic illness, and the advice those people shared is tender, touching and helpful. Consider this, from a man who took care of his wife for a dozen years while she was in a wheelchair: “I am grateful for the time we had and the help I had from all of the health care professionals over those years. I learned from her and from them how very precious life is.” Next Avenue’s report, titled “When One Spouse Is Healthy and the Other Isn’t,” is worth a read. You also might check out a local support group for caregivers or an online forum (such as this one at Caregiver Action Network) where you can vent your frustrations, ask for advice and learn from the experience of others.

If you’re in Whatcom County and caring for a sick spouse or loved one and would like to learn more about the benefits of having part-time care in the home, please reach out to us at Take My Hand At-Home Care here in Lynden. We provide support all over the region, from Blaine to Bellingham, and we’d love to talk about your needs.

Is your mom or dad ready for care? A TMH client profile

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We often hear from concerned sons and daughters that their parents might be ready for some at-home assistance, but they’re not sure. Sometimes the kids are hesitant to suggest the idea to parents, and sometimes parents aren’t keen on accepting care.

It can be hard to know when is the right time to suggest care. To offer some assistance, consider this sample profile of a TMH client. Not every client will look like this, certainly, but this is one good example of the type of people who can benefit from at-home care.

Mom and dad are both in their 80s, living in a small, one-floor home in Birch Bay. They have two children, but neither lives close enough to provide regular assistance. The daughter lives in Seattle, and the son lives in Sedro-Woolley. Both of them are married with children, and their days are full and busy.

Dad still drives, which has been helpful for making the extra doctor’s appointments lately that have arisen from mom’s advancing dementia. He has gotten into a couple minor fender-benders in the last couple of months, though, and that’s beginning to be a worrisome trend. Some family members have questioned whether dad should still be driving. He already has stopped driving at night, because it can be so hard to see, and that has placed a few limitations on he and mom. For example, they don’t go out to bingo nights or dance events at the senior center any more, and those used to be beloved hobbies.

Even without going to dances, the couple is still pretty active. They try to walk every day. Dad had a fall last week, though — slipped on a stray magazine in the living room — and that left him with some painful bruises on his right hip. Nothing is broken, thankfully, but the experience reminded him that getting around isn’t as easy as it used to be.

There’s a small grocery store about four blocks from their house, but they’re not walking there as much anymore, and even less so with dad’s fall. They could probably use a few groceries to stock up the fridge and pantry.

This couple is the perfect candidate for two or three half-day shifts per week. They’re pretty active and healthy, and they’re far from needing 24-hour care. However, they would really benefit from assistance getting to the doctor’s office and help with the weekly grocery shopping. They could use someone to tidy up the house once a week and ensure that everything is in its proper place. They could also use some help communicating with doctors and ensuring that medicines are taken on time, and it would be good to have someone around to monitor mom. (Her dementia isn’t far along, but it would be good to have someone checking in on her now and again and looking at how it’s affecting dad, too.)

The 12-hour shifts would take a lot of pressure off of dad and would allow the couple to relax a bit, worrying less about the details and spending more time enjoying each other’s company.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, perhaps your mom or dad — or someone else in your life — could benefit from having a licensed caregiver helping out on half-day shifts. Just give us a call and we can talk about your options.

Work for your health: Five things to do now for a happier future

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As caregivers, we often find ourselves in the role of helping people whose health is failing. We get called in to provide needed support to elders whose bodies and/or minds just aren’t working like they used to. It’s a fulfilling line of work, and we enjoy it.

We also enjoy offering tips and advice for seniors to maintain their good health, and for younger people who want to ensure that their minds and bodies are in top form as they grow older.

With that in mind, here are five important things to do throughout your life to ensure that you stay strong and health for as long as you can:

Eat well. The value of eating well cannot be overstated. For a great look at what different foods are good for and how various nutrients are used by the body, check out this comprehensive overview from the University of Minnesota or this brief look at how nutrients affect the body. Why do we need Vitamin A, and where do we get it? How can eating more whole grains help us reduce weight gain? What are beneficial fats? Spend some time researching the value of good nutrition, and make changes in your diet today to maximize the benefits of great food.

Learn more: Are the loved ones in your life
eating healthy? Here’s how to help.

Sleep well. You might have heard that people can go longer without food than without sleep. Good sleep is incredibly important — critical — to good health. And not only that, it’s important to be consistent. Here are some easy ways to improve your ability to sleep well: Avoid caffeine and alcohol late in the day, keep your room dark and quiet, stay off of screens just before bed, and get plenty of exercise during the day.

Learn more: Sleep is important for caregivers, too!
Here’s how to ensure you’re getting what you need.

Get moving. Simply put, staying independent almost always requires staying fit. Good regular exercise can keep your heart strong and prevent such problems as arthritis and diabetes. It’s good for your brain and can help stave off depression, and it’s good for your heart and can prevent heart disease. There is no substitute for an active lifestyle. If you love your body, make use of it and get moving! As a fun way of getting started, connect with a local walking group. You might find one on this list from the Washington Trails Association.

Make friends. All those friends you make on the trail — or at the senior center, at the park, at church, at your favorite volunteer activity — also are important to your long-term physical and mental well-being. Social isolation is a risk factor for depression, and loneliness may be a preclinical sign for Alzheimer’s disease. What can help? Friends.

Challenge your brain. Stimulating social and mental activities can help keep brains sharp, improve memory and help with daily life skills. Here are seven fun ways to ensure you’re getting plenty of great brain exercise.

If you need help with any of these tasks, please feel free to reach out to us here at Take My Hand At-Home Care. We provide non-medical companion and home care services throughout Whatcom County, in daily shifts or even 24-hour live-in assistance.

Important documents to set up with an elderly loved one

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As our loved ones advance in age or dementia, it becomes increasingly important to establish procedures that will make dealing with health or medical issues much easier in the future.

A person in a blue Oxford shirt signs a document.
There are four types of documents to consider creating for aging parents, grandparents and other loved ones: advance directives, physician orders for life-sustaining treatment, standard wills and living trusts.

In particular, there are four types of documents to consider creating for aging parents, grandparents and other loved ones: advance directives, physician orders for life-sustaining treatment, standard wills and living trusts.

Advance Directive: An advance directive is a legal document that provides guidance about what types of treatments your loved one may want to receive in the event of a medical emergency, and who they would like to make decisions on their behalf regarding medical treatment. This person is called a surrogate.

NOTE: Depending on where your loved one lives, an advance directive might instead be called a living will, health care power of attorney or something else.

Every adult should have an advance directive in place so that if something happens, the surrogate can ensure that the patient’s wishes are respected and carried out.

In Washington state, care providers like Take My Hand At-Home Care are required to ask whether patients have an advance directive.

NOTE: As with the rest of the documents on this list, it’s important to put an advance directive in a place where it can easily be found. Make sure your surrogate knows where it is, and have it added to your medical record, if possible.

Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment: This is another document we’re required to ask about at Take My Hand At-Home Care. Physician orders for life-sustaining treatment (POLST) forms are specific to each individual. In the event that your loved one has a medical emergency, this form describes the specific medical treatments he or she would like to receive. While all adults should have an advance directive, a POLST form only becomes necessary upon diagnosis of a serious illness or when health begins to deteriorate near the end of life.

NOTE: While an advance directive is a legal document, a POLST is a medical order. Only an advance directive can legally designate a surrogate to make healthcare decisions on behalf of a loved one.

A will sets out instructions for how assets should be distributed in the event of death.

Standard will: A will sets out instructions for how your parents or grandparents would like their assets distributed in the event of death. The will also designates the person who will be in charge of that. It’s a good idea to establish a will as soon as possible and then to review it once a year to ensure that it’s an accurate reflection of your loved one’s wishes. When a person dies with a will in place, the person’s estate goes through probate court to, among other things, determine the will’s validity, total up the assets and distribute those assets according to the will’s instructions. Without a will in place, that process gets a lot more complicated.

Living trust: A living trust places a person’s assets into a separate entity that allows for the avoidance of probate court. It explains who will manage that entity upon your loved one’s death and who will distribute its assets — and to whom and how much. A living trust can be more expensive to prepare than a standard will, but it can save the costs associated with probate court.

If you have any questions about what documents might be necessary in your family’s case, consult an attorney who specializes in elder law. There are a number of options in Bellingham, Lynden and throughout Whatcom County for lawyers who specialize in situations regarding the elderly.

Activities to support brain health and memory in seniors

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Stimulating social and mental activities can help keep brains sharp, improve memory and help with daily life skills. They can also be an enjoyable and fun way to spend time with the beloved elders in your life.

Two older men play a game of chess at an outdoor table.The following seven activities can help support brain health and memory while providing companionship, conversation and pure simple fun:

  1. My father works in the grocery store. This is a delightful guessing game that works for two players or a group. The first person thinks of an item sold in a grocery store and says, “My father works in the grocery store and the product he sells begins with the letter P.” (This letter is the first letter of whatever the product is. In this case the answer is pomegranate.) The other player(s) ask questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no, such as: Is it in the produce section? Is it edible? Is it green? The game continues with questions leading to guesses of what the product is until someone gets the right answer. Then the winner thinks of the next item and the game begins again.
  2. Shopping list game. In this memory game one person begins with, “I went to the store and bought some fish.” The next person repeats the line and continues by adding an item, “I went to the store and bought some fish and some rice.” With each turn the list grows and the game continues until no one can remember all of the items. Everyone may experience some good laughs with this game.
  3. Name two words for each letter in your first name. A simple version is to come up with any two words, or the focus can change to qualities, or objects.
    For example: MARY
    Marvelous, merciful
    Artistic, adventurous
    You get the idea. This can be creative and loads of fun.
  4. Trivia games. Choose topics that are of special interest to your elder such as music, art, history, sports or geography. Trivia games are wonderfully stimulating to the minds of older people.
  5. Learn a new language together and practice using the newly learned words. You can keep it simple with just a few words or phrases such as “Hello,” “Good evening,” “How are you?” in French or Spanish or any language of interest. Enjoy using these words and phrases in simple conversation, then learn more as it feels comfortable and manageable.
  6. Closeup of a pile of jigsaw puzzle pieces.Jigsaw puzzles can be stimulating to the mind and also provide a calm and comforting companionship as you work on them together. This activity can help quiet the mind, which may be especially helpful for seniors with busy minds.
  7. Try the serving tray game to enhance short term memory. This game is great for visual folks. Place a selection of different objects from around the house on a tray. Let those who are playing have a look, then cover up the objects with a cloth. Then ask the seniors playing to recall what items they remember.

There are many possibilities for games to play with elders that may also have beneficial results. Some that are more familiar include bingo, chess, card games, Sudoku, logic puzzles, online interactive games, and also arts and crafts projects. Find out what your loved one enjoys and build from there.

The National Institute on Aging offers a helpful article on Cognitive Health and Older Adults. It gives tips on the following steps that help elders with day-to-day functioning and independence. These steps have been linked to cognitive health, as well.

  • Take care of your health
  • Eat healthy foods
  • Be physically active
  • Keep your mind active
  • Stay connected

Engaging companionship with someone who cares can provide many benefits for elders. To learn more about home companion services by licensed caregivers, contact Take My Hand At-Home Care, which provides elder care for senior citizens in the following communities: Lynden, Bellingham, Ferndale, Blaine, Everson, Nooksack, Sumas and Birch Bay.

Fun ways caregivers can help during the holidays

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One of the most important things a caregiver offers is companionship — someone to be there, to listen, to share a smile, a laugh, a hug.

In addition to personal care services, at-home caregivers can also help in some pretty fun ways. With the holidays coming up, caregivers can be like Santa’s elves in Whatcom County and provide help with:

  • Holiday decorating to create a festive feeling at home: helping set up a small Christmas tree with lights and cherished ornaments, or putting up Christmas lights and setting out nativity scenes, favorite table cloths and other decorations.
  • Shopping for holiday supplies and gifts.
  • Baking or cooking favorite holiday recipes — old classics or finding new ones to share. Who doesn’t love the smell of fresh-baked cookies or a pumpkin pie in the oven? We all know how warm and cozy the delicious smells of baking and cooking makes a home feel. These foods can be enjoyed at home or brought to a gathering to share with family or friends.
  • Writing and mailing holiday cards to stay in touch. At-home caregivers can help with writing notes inside the cards, addressing the envelopes, and dropping them in the mailbox.
  • Listening to and singing Christmas carols, or maybe even going out to a local performance of carolers or the Nutcracker.
  • An early evening drive to see the magic of Christmas light displays in Lynden or downtown Bellingham.
  • Watching favorite, classic holiday movies and sharing memories.
  • Arts and crafts projects to keep your loved one’s creativity engaged. These projects can be suited to each individuals’ abilities so they can enjoy the activity. Some of these (ornaments, handmade cards, watercolor paintings) might even make sentimental gifts.
  • Arranging and driving to special visits with friends and family.
  • Bucket list trips, something your loved one has always wanted to do — going to an art museum (such as the The Whatcom Museum in Bellingham), a theater performance, sculpture garden, sporting event or classic car show. There are many possibilities. Maybe even talking with your mom or dad to find out what kinds of things they have always wanted to do and then making a list.

The holidays can bring a mix of emotions and memories, and loneliness can often increase during the holiday season. As you and your family are extra busy with shopping and other outings, licensed caregivers can provide companionship and festive holiday experiences for your aging loved ones.

The simple presence of someone there who cares can make a huge difference in the life of an older adult. To find out more about home companion services, contact Take My Hand At-Home Care, which provides elder care for senior citizens in the following communities: Lynden, Bellingham, Ferndale, Blaine, Everson, Nooksack, Sumas and Birch Bay.

Recovering at home after surgery

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Two elderly ladies chat outside in a lush garden.

After surgery or a hospital stay, who will help with recovery at home?

There are many important things to consider as part of pre-operation planning, such as making sure the kitchen will be stocked with healthy food and arranging to have someone available to help with meal preparation and basic housekeeping.

Will you need special medical equipment for your post-op recovery at home? Some recoveries require oxygen tanks, elevated toilets, shower seats, crutches or a walker to help prevent falls. In Whatcom County, the Bellingham Central Lions Club offers affordable rentals for wheelchairs, walkers, crutches and other durable medical equipment to help with recovery. Hoagland Pharmacy, Norco Medical and Bellevue Healthcare are also sources for medical supplies in the Bellingham area.

After surgery, dizziness may occur from being in bed for long periods or from lack of eating, which may cause balance issues and unexpected stumbling. Make sure your home is free from clutter, and if your bedroom is upstairs — stairs may be difficult — set up a comfortable place to sleep that is downstairs and close to a bathroom. Nightlights in hallways and bathrooms can also make it easier to move around at night and help prevent stumbling.

An elderly man listens to a doctor explain something while pointing to a computer screen.If you or your loved one needs someone there to help out — perhaps no family lives in the area, or loved ones who could help with caregiving have full-time jobs or are not comfortable with personal care tasks — our licensed caregivers at Take My Hand At-Home Care can assist Whatcom County residents as you return home and resume life after surgery and other hospital stays. Surgery can drain your energy for days or weeks, making simple tasks at home extra challenging. Our licensed caregiver companions can offer support while you’re healing and getting your strength back.

Your personal at-home caregiver can help with:

  • Hospital discharge from PeaceHealth St. Joseph Medical Center in Bellingham, WA
  • Transportation, purchasing healthcare supplies, picking up prescriptions, and helping you get settled in at home to recover
  • Grocery shopping and keeping the fridge stocked; preparing and serving nutritious meals according to unique preferences and dietary needs
  • Medication monitoring and reminders to help avoid accidentally taking too many or skipping a dose
  • Personal hygiene, if assistance is needed with bathing, dressing, toileting, etc.
  • Help with transitions from bed to chair or from sitting to standing, and assistance with walking to help prevent falls
  • Accompaniment to doctor’s appointments and sharing health information with loved ones
  • Light housekeeping such as laundry, dishes, changing sheets, and even feeding your pet

Our at-home caregivers are available to come by for a few hours daily, or we can provide 24-hour assistance if needed. Maybe a loved one is also there to help but would like to spend time focused on your well-being rather than running errands for supplies, preparing meals, and monitoring medications. That’s totally fine. Our trained and compassionate caregivers can provide support and comfort for both of you. To find out more about hiring your own at-home care provider, contact Take My Hand At-Home Care in Lynden.

As a family caregiver, do you take time for self-care?

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You know how important it is to care for your loved one, to make sure the right medications are taken on time, meals are nutritious, bedding is clean, and the list goes on.

Yet, do you also realize how important it is to take care of yourself — the caregiver?

Caregiving for a loved one at home is often a labor of love that can be filled with special and tender moments. Yet many family caregivers do not receive much acknowledgement or help.

Whether you’re taking care of your aging mom or dad, husband or wife, or another loved one, it’s important to notice your own signs of needing a break. Caregivers can experience caregiver burnout, stress, depression, high blood pressure and more.

Even feelings of guilt, anger, and resentment can build and undermine your health and the relationship with your loved one. When caring for a spouse, often the relationship has changed from sharing experiences, joys, and intimacy with a lifelong companion to taking care of someone who may need constant care.

The bond of marriage is strong and sometimes pride can get in the way of spouse caregivers asking for help as they remember their commitment, “I stood before God and said my vows. I will care for my husband.”

The Family Caregiver Alliance addresses challenges and considerations specific to caregivers caring for their spouse, including emotional impacts, physical challenges and social considerations.

Elderly gentleman watching a game of bocce on an outdoor court.

Have you considered who would take care of your loved one if something happened to you?

It happens all too often that family caregivers are so focused on the needs of their loved one that they neglect their own needs. Even when caregiving comes from a loving place and is rewarding, it can still be stressful and demanding. It’s important to take care of your own health – physical, emotional, and spiritual.

Make sure there is time to:

  • Reflect, breathe, meditate
  • Exercise and be outside
  • Eat right
  • Stay in touch with other family and friends
  • Do things that feed and nourish you, that keep you excited about life

It’s valuable to have support, to share the burden and care. Not only will some steady, consistent time off nourish your well-being, it will allow you to come back refreshed as you continue to care for your loved one.

You are not alone. Our caregivers at Take My Hand At-Home Care are specially trained to offer the type of care that is needed for your loved one in Whatcom County, whether it be companionship, assistance with shopping, preparing meals, monitoring medications, or help with personal care. We can give family caregivers in Lynden, Bellingham, Ferndale and beyond a much-needed break, some important and well-deserved time off.

The gift of appreciation

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We all love to be appreciated when we work hard.

At Take My Hand At-Home Care, we give thoughtful and attentive care to our clients, which is rewarding work in and of itself. It’s also special to receive thank you notes from families expressing what our caregiving services have meant to them. We were incredibly touched to receive this letter:

Dear Sue,

I’m writing on behalf of my mom, Patricia Brighton, and our family. We would like to express our deepest thanks for the abundant kindness, care and concern you gave each of us, especially Mom.

Each member of your team provided dependable, thoughtful and loving care. We so appreciate your devotion and attention to detail, even when expectations were more than challenging. Honestly, we never could have had her home for so long without your cheerful support.

I hold each one of you in such high regard. I hope you know your work is respected and so appreciated. I would recommend your services to anyone looking for quality caregiving. Thank you for all you do and the positive impact you have on the clients/families in your care.

Thank you, Sue, for being such a careful listener who is committed to excellence at Take My Hand At-Home Care. Your support and understanding helped us through a very dark time. You took our hands, held on tight, and helped us up again. Such a blessing when we needed it most.

Again, our deepest thanks to you, Sue, and your fabulous team of caregivers. We miss you already!

Warm regards,

Nancy Brighton & family

We are so thankful for our wonderful clients and their families. We are touched every day by their kindness and thoughtfulness as we share important moments in their lives and with their loved ones.

Providing at-home care to Lynden families like the Brightons is our pleasure. We will continue to offer caregiver services with kindness and care; we will continue to be careful listeners and aim to be a blessing to families as they are walking through difficult times.

Tips for recognizing and preventing pressure sores

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Elderly person walks with the help of a walker.We all know how uncomfortable it is to sit or lie in one position for a long time.

For those who have limited ability to change positions or are confined to a bed or wheelchair, not only is it uncomfortable, it can cause pressure sores from prolonged pressure on the skin, which limits blood flow to the skin, depriving it of nutrients and oxygen. Pressure sores can be serious, but they can be prevented with just a little extra care and attention.

This kind of damage to the skin is also referred to as a bed sore or pressure ulcer and most often occurs on skin that covers bony areas of the body, such as:

  • Heels
  • Ankles
  • Hips
  • Tailbone
  • Shoulder blades and spine
  • Back or sides of the head for someone who is bedridden

Not only are pressure sores painful, they can be serious and require medical attention. It’s important to keep an eye out for areas on the skin that are showing signs of redness, tenderness, swelling and other types of irritation.

The Mayo Clinic lists these symptoms and warning signs of pressure ulcers:

  • Unusual changes in skin color or texture
  • Swelling
  • An area of skin that feels cooler or warmer to the touch than other areas
  • Tender areas

Pressure sores can develop quickly, and since they respond best to treatment when detected early, it’s important to check for sores daily and focus on prevention, especially with elderly individuals who may be aging in place at home.

Tips for helping loved ones prevent pressure sores:

  • Ensure someone is available to help your mom or dad shift weight frequently and change positions every hour or two.
  • Keep skin clean and dry. Moisture is a common culprit. Use mild soap and a soft cloth.
  • Be aware that buttons, zippers, and even folds in clothing or bedding can cause skin irritation.
  • Make sure they eat nutritious foods and drink plenty of fluids.
  • Take appropriate daily exercise. This might mean going for a walk, or something as simple as range of motion exercises such as lifting an arm and holding it up for a few moments.
  • Use pillows. Pillows can help prevent bed sores by being placed between parts of the body that press against each other — such as between the legs when lying on their side, or for cushioning under the tailbone, heels or elbows.

Caregivers at Take My Hand At-Home Care can help your parent or grandparent stay safe by proactively working to prevent pressure sores. At-home caregivers can help monitor skin conditions and treat early-onset bed sores before they become too serious. The awareness and care that we provide can help your loved one shift positions, get up and get moving, eat regularly and stay hydrated, clean and comfortable.

To learn more about the symptoms, causes, risk factors, complications and prevention of pressure sores, visit the Mayo Clinic website.

Our caregiver and home companion service is a locally owned and operated eldercare provider helping seniors in Whatcom County continue to live at home safely. If you would like more information about hiring help at home for an aging family member, and how we can help care for your loved one, contact Take My Hand At-Home Care.

When you’re healthy but your spouse isn’t, here’s how to cope

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 60 percent of Americans live with a chronic disease, such as heart disease, cancer, stroke or diabetes. Given those percentages, there inevitably are a great many “well spouses” who are caring for a sick person daily. When you’re the spouse who isn’t ill, how do you cope with the challenges while protecting your own health? Providing care for a … [Read More...]

ABOUT US

Sue Sorensen became involved with Whatcom County eldercare and aging-in-place services in 2009. She launched Take My Hand At-Home Care in January 2012 … Read More...

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Phone: 360-543-5777
Fax: 360-255-7564
*If you need immediate assistance for a loved one please contact us by phone.