Elder loneliness | Take My Hand At Home

How to help widowers connect with others and find new purpose in life

February 12, 2020 By Take My Hand

Imagine one day losing the spouse you’ve had for decades.

Having lived with the same person for most of your life, the loss would be phenomenal. Not only would you lose the love of your life, you’d also need to start doing everything on your own — cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, visiting the doctor… the list goes on.

Elderly man in a jacket sitting and looking at the camera

You’d also lose a social connection and a major reason to stay involved with others in your community. Without your spouse at your side, you’d be less likely to attend events, go out for meals and travel.

Here at Take My Hand At-Home Care, we have come across numerous situations just like this. Losing a spouse later in life happens quite frequently to senior citizens in the Whatcom County community.

Not only must widows or widowers deal with the loss of a loved one, but they also must cope with major lifestyle changes. They lose the person with whom they used to watch TV or go on walks. They lose the person who used to remind them to take their medications; they lose the person who used to help them plan fun things to do. They lose their social connections.

These are all real consequences of losing a long-time partner, and the effects can be drastic.

Loneliness after the death of a spouse

According to the National Institute on Aging, social isolation and loneliness are linked to increased risks for high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease and even death.

“Losing a sense of connection and community changes a person’s perception of the world,” according to the NIA. And it’s not just perception. Biological defense mechanisms are activated in those who experience chronic loneliness because they feel threatened and mistrustful.

While older women are more likely than men to report being lonely, the effects of loneliness can be more drastic in older men, who are more likely than women to be depressed and suicidal when lonely, according to a recent study published in the American Journal of Men’s Health.

How to help people stay connected to life after loss

What can change someone’s outlook after loss?

Being social provides an enormous benefit, as does having another person around to provide support and motivation or to offer assistance with daily tasks of living. In particular, men benefit from having purpose in life, according to the AJMH study, which notes that improvements in mental health and purpose in life can help reduce loneliness — and thus reduce many of its negative consequences — in older men.

Elderly man taking photos outdoors, with mountains in the background

Pursuing hobbies and other passions is one great option for combating the consequences of loneliness. Joining a senior center, too, can help the elderly make new friends and find new hobbies. Those who have experienced recent loss might also benefit from having their family and friends take them to activities and events, or even just pick up the phone and invite them to dinner.

Mindfulness meditation: What it is, and how it can help the elderly

January 7, 2020 By Take My Hand

Have you ever considered meditation as a way to improve aspects of your health?

There are many reasons why older adults in Bellingham, Lynden or throughout Whatcom County might want to start practicing meditation. Meditation can enhance memory, slow cognitive decline, improve digestion, boost circulation, reduce stress, lower disease risk and even decrease loneliness.

At its core, meditation is a way to calm the mind and body. There are various styles of meditation, but most involve either concentration, mindfulness or both. Concentration meditation is that classic example in which we focus our minds on a single, specific thing — a sound (perhaps the ringing of a bell), an image (perhaps a flickering candle flame), an action (perhaps the repetition of a specific word) or some other focal point.

Mindfulness meditation, on the other hand, is the practice of being mindful of thoughts as they occur. Essentially, it is attentive awareness of the moment. To practice this form of meditation, we simply sit, relax and pay attention to the thoughts we have, trying not to react to them but just to observe. For a brief explanation of mindfulness meditation and how it can integrate with everyday life, watch this short video from the Western Washington University Counseling Center in Bellingham.

Let’s take a look in more detail at some of the ways that mindfulness meditation can improve the lives of older adults here in Whatcom County:

Less stress and worry: According to Bob Linscott from the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, meditation can help older adults tamp down worries associated with growing older. “Meditation is like a pause button that breaks the cycle of worry,” he said in an article in NextAvenue. “It can help older adults better accept their changing bodies or chronic pain. It puts them more in control of their lives.”
Cognitive improvements: According to research published in the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, “meditation may be able to offset normal age‐related cognitive decline or even enhance cognitive function in older adults.” The research noted preliminary improvements in attention, memory, executive function, processing speed and general cognition as a result of meditation practices.
Digestion enhancements: The calm, deep breathing associated with meditation boosts circulation and increases the oxygen content of the blood, both of which are important factors for digestion. What’s more, meditation can have the long-term effect of improving our mindsets, limiting the likelihood that we will overeat.
Decreased loneliness: A study from Carnegie Mellon University that tested older adults over an eight-week period showed that participants reported lower levels of loneliness after just 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation each day, in addition to a daylong retreat and weekly two-hour meetings. “We know that loneliness is a major risk factor for health problems and mortality in older adults,” said one of the researchers involved in the study. “This research suggests that mindfulness meditation training is a promising intervention for improving the health of older adults.”

If you’re interested in getting started with mindfulness meditation in Bellingham, Lynden, Ferndale or elsewhere in Whatcom County, there are several professional services in the area that offer courses and training in meditation, including Mindfulness Northwest, Bellingham Insight and Red Cedar Zen Community.

The value of a little help at home

September 7, 2019 By Take My Hand

An elderly woman looks at a large collection of flowers under a green and white tent. — At-home care can free us up to do the things we love, like browse the gorgeous flowers at the farmers’ market.

As we age, it can be common for us to start to scale back our activities.

After all, many of the things we’re used to doing — whether the activities we do for fun or the stuff of daily life — can become more difficult as our bodies and minds start to slow down.

Driving is harder, doing laundry is harder, gardening is harder, walking from point A to point B is harder, finding the motivation to exercise is harder, shopping is harder…

None of these things is impossible, of course — they’re all just a bit more difficult than they have been. Under these circumstances, our worlds can get smaller and less active.

That’s where a little at-home assistance really can be a great service. A little help around the house can be an enormous relief; having a caregiver companion stop by two to three times per week can really help seniors LIVE their lives.

Learn more: How Take My Hand helps Lynden senior Bernadette Millar live a full life.

In essence, having a little help around the home can actually increase a elderly individual’s independence.

That’s an important point to note, because one concern we hear occasionally here at Take My Hand At-Home Care is that caregivers can be limiting for an elderly person’s lifestyle. In fact, the eldery sometimes think that when their family recommends a caregiver, the goal is to take away their independence.

In truth, your family is not trying to take your independence away, they are trying to help you LIVE and enjoy what you have. If your loved ones are resistant to care, here are a few tips to help continue the conversation.

Learn more: How to tell whether your mom or dad is ready for at-home care.

A part-time caregiver at home can help you pursue your passions. A caregiver can help give you time, energy and drive to pursue health long into the future. In-home support can be an activity companion, working with you on fun activities that help maintain brain health. And with the holidays coming up soon, don’t overlook the many ways a caregiver can help with the Thanksgiving and Christmas prep and festivities.

To learn more about how Take My Hand At-Home Care can provide help for you or an elderly loved one, just give us a call or send a message online. Our experienced care providers are standing by to help!

‘We all need others in our lives’

August 7, 2019 By Take My Hand

[ Editor’s note: Originally published in the Lynden Tribune ]

Bernadette Millar, center, gets everyday help and also socializing with Heidi Sorensen and Sue Sorensen. Photo by Laura Place/Lynden Tribune.

For Lynden senior Bernadette Millar, meeting with her caretaker Heidi Sorensen each week not only helps her with her everyday tasks, but provides a sense of companionship. Sometimes the two go shopping together, or Heidi helps Bernadette with her bills and appointments.

Bernadette has been meeting regularly with Heidi for three years now, after being connected to the in-home care service of Take My Hand of Lynden following a visit from her son and daughter-in-law. Those relatives made the initial connection to Take My Hand, and owner Sue Sorensen (Heidi’s mother-in-law) reached out to Bernadette directly.

“I didn’t call her — she called me,” Bernadette recalled. “It came right at the right time.”

Bernadette stopped being able to drive herself around a few years ago after a bad fall that resulted in nerve damage. She said the loss of the ability to drive a vehicle was devastating, but now being able to go to the places she needs to go and get out of her condo every once in a while with Heidi gives her something to look forward to.

The care service offers assistance to seniors with various tasks based on their needs, such as taking medication, scheduling appointments and going on errands. Or, as in Bernadette’s case, the client and caretaker will just go and enjoy coffee together.

“We do everything, from companionship to end-of-life care,” Sue Sorensen said.

For Bernadette, it’s a gift to be able to get out of the house with Heidi and know all of her appointments and bills are organized. Just as important, Sue points out, is having someone to laugh with. Sitting in Woods Coffee at Bender Plaza on a Friday outing, Bernadette and Heidi laugh together about Bernadette’s favorite saying, “Can’t be bothered.”

“I thought it was ‘think positively’?” Heidi asks.

“I’m always positive!” Bernadette says back, smiling.

This companionship from a caretaker can help to combat some of the isolation and loneliness experienced by many senior citizens, making it one of the most important aspects of the service offered by Take My Hand, Sue Sorensen said. Even just going on outings a couple of times a week gives clients something to look forward to.

“It’s a big deal for them, to get out of the house,” Sorensen said of the clients who are assisted by Take My Hand. “We all want to be independent, but we all need others in our lives.”

Take My Hand At-Home Care can be reached at 360-543-5777 and online at takemyhandathome.com.

Why work in at-home care?

May 2, 2019 By Take My Hand

The home care industry continues to see astounding growth. In 2016, there were roughly 2 million personal care attendants in the United States, and that figure is expected to grow by 40 percent over the next decade. This projection is attributable to the fact that a record 50 million people aged 65 and older currently live in the U.S., and by 2030 this number is expected to increase by 20 million.

Simply put, at-home care is in demand.

That’s not the only reason to consider a position in at-home caregiving, however. At-home care offers a wonderful opportunity for caregivers to truly make a difference in the lives of the elderly.

Let’s look in more detail at some reasons why people would work in at-home care:

A caregiver in a red jacket pushes an older woman in a wheelchair down a concrete ramp.

Build friendships and provide comfort to those who need it. Isolation can be hazardous to seniors’ health, and as many as one in six seniors faces the repercussions of loneliness in their daily lives. At-home care offers CNAs, licensed nurses and other caregivers an opportunity to combat elder loneliness by building meaningful friendships with seniors.

Work at a slower pace and with more flexible hours. Providing care in the home can be less demanding than working in an assisted-living facility or hospital. Hours are generally more flexible, and care is slower-paced. Supporting one person is a much different experience than rushing from bed to bed serving numerous patients each day. With the slower pace, caregivers also find that they have more time to get to know their clients through the sharing of stories and experiences. Clients are often full of wonderful life advice!

Help maximize health and wellness. At-home caregivers typically are involved in helping the elderly remember medications, providing good communication with doctors and assisting in such daily tasks as bathing, walking, cooking and shopping. Thus, caregivers play critical roles in the ongoing health of their clients. Plus, at-home care affords the opportunity to see all aspects of a person, not just their medical conditions or daily needs. In the comfort of home, caregivers can get to know clients on a deeper, more personal level.

A caregiver stands in a grassy field with her elderly client as they watch the sunset together.

Make a difference in someone’s life. Take My Hand At-Home Care often is mentioned in obituaries when a person passes. Why? Because our caregivers tend to make huge impressions in seniors’ lives, whether it’s through expert assistance, kind compassion or genuine friendship. We’re proud of our reputation for kind, compassionate care that makes an impression on the elderly and their loved ones.

Take My Hand At-Home Care has been providing personal, professional support for the elderly in Whatcom County since 2012. Our eldercare options include daily shifts and even 24-hour live-in assistance, which allows seniors to age-in-place instead of moving to a long-term care facility. We are fully licensed, bonded and insured. Our professional caregivers have been trained and certified to provide compassionate care to elders in Washington state.

Work for your health: Five things to do now for a happier future

February 6, 2019 By Take My Hand

As caregivers, we often find ourselves in the role of helping people whose health is failing. We get called in to provide needed support to elders whose bodies and/or minds just aren’t working like they used to. It’s a fulfilling line of work, and we enjoy it.

We also enjoy offering tips and advice for seniors to maintain their good health, and for younger people who want to ensure that their minds and bodies are in top form as they grow older.

With that in mind, here are five important things to do throughout your life to ensure that you stay strong and health for as long as you can:

Eat well. The value of eating well cannot be overstated. For a great look at what different foods are good for and how various nutrients are used by the body, check out this comprehensive overview from the University of Minnesota or this brief look at how nutrients affect the body. Why do we need Vitamin A, and where do we get it? How can eating more whole grains help us reduce weight gain? What are beneficial fats? Spend some time researching the value of good nutrition, and make changes in your diet today to maximize the benefits of great food.

Learn more: Are the loved ones in your life
eating healthy? Here’s how to help.

Sleep well. You might have heard that people can go longer without food than without sleep. Good sleep is incredibly important — critical — to good health. And not only that, it’s important to be consistent. Here are some easy ways to improve your ability to sleep well: Avoid caffeine and alcohol late in the day, keep your room dark and quiet, stay off of screens just before bed, and get plenty of exercise during the day.

Learn more: Sleep is important for caregivers, too!
Here’s how to ensure you’re getting what you need.

Get moving. Simply put, staying independent almost always requires staying fit. Good regular exercise can keep your heart strong and prevent such problems as arthritis and diabetes. It’s good for your brain and can help stave off depression, and it’s good for your heart and can prevent heart disease. There is no substitute for an active lifestyle. If you love your body, make use of it and get moving! As a fun way of getting started, connect with a local walking group. You might find one on this list from the Washington Trails Association.

Make friends. All those friends you make on the trail — or at the senior center, at the park, at church, at your favorite volunteer activity — also are important to your long-term physical and mental well-being. Social isolation is a risk factor for depression, and loneliness may be a preclinical sign for Alzheimer’s disease. What can help? Friends.

Challenge your brain. Stimulating social and mental activities can help keep brains sharp, improve memory and help with daily life skills. Here are seven fun ways to ensure you’re getting plenty of great brain exercise.

If you need help with any of these tasks, please feel free to reach out to us here at Take My Hand At-Home Care. We provide non-medical companion and home care services throughout Whatcom County, in daily shifts or even 24-hour live-in assistance.

Activities to support brain health and memory in seniors

December 5, 2018 By Take My Hand

Stimulating social and mental activities can help keep brains sharp, improve memory and help with daily life skills. They can also be an enjoyable and fun way to spend time with the beloved elders in your life.

Two older men play a game of chess at an outdoor table. The following seven activities can help support brain health and memory while providing companionship, conversation and pure simple fun:

My father works in the grocery store. This is a delightful guessing game that works for two players or a group. The first person thinks of an item sold in a grocery store and says, “My father works in the grocery store and the product he sells begins with the letter P.” (This letter is the first letter of whatever the product is. In this case the answer is pomegranate.) The other player(s) ask questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no, such as: Is it in the produce section? Is it edible? Is it green? The game continues with questions leading to guesses of what the product is until someone gets the right answer. Then the winner thinks of the next item and the game begins again.
Shopping list game. In this memory game one person begins with, “I went to the store and bought some fish.” The next person repeats the line and continues by adding an item, “I went to the store and bought some fish and some rice.” With each turn the list grows and the game continues until no one can remember all of the items. Everyone may experience some good laughs with this game.
Name two words for each letter in your first name. A simple version is to come up with any two words, or the focus can change to qualities, or objects.
For example: MARY
Marvelous, merciful
Artistic, adventurous
You get the idea. This can be creative and loads of fun.
Trivia games. Choose topics that are of special interest to your elder such as music, art, history, sports or geography. Trivia games are wonderfully stimulating to the minds of older people.
Learn a new language together and practice using the newly learned words. You can keep it simple with just a few words or phrases such as “Hello,” “Good evening,” “How are you?” in French or Spanish or any language of interest. Enjoy using these words and phrases in simple conversation, then learn more as it feels comfortable and manageable.
Jigsaw puzzles can be stimulating to the mind and also provide a calm and comforting companionship as you work on them together. This activity can help quiet the mind, which may be especially helpful for seniors with busy minds.
Try the serving tray game to enhance short term memory. This game is great for visual folks. Place a selection of different objects from around the house on a tray. Let those who are playing have a look, then cover up the objects with a cloth. Then ask the seniors playing to recall what items they remember.

There are many possibilities for games to play with elders that may also have beneficial results. Some that are more familiar include bingo, chess, card games, Sudoku, logic puzzles, online interactive games, and also arts and crafts projects. Find out what your loved one enjoys and build from there.

The National Institute on Aging offers a helpful article on Cognitive Health and Older Adults. It gives tips on the following steps that help elders with day-to-day functioning and independence. These steps have been linked to cognitive health, as well.

Take care of your health
Eat healthy foods
Be physically active
Keep your mind active
Stay connected

Engaging companionship with someone who cares can provide many benefits for elders. To learn more about home companion services by licensed caregivers, contact Take My Hand At-Home Care, which provides elder care for senior citizens in the following communities: Lynden, Bellingham, Ferndale, Blaine, Everson, Nooksack, Sumas and Birch Bay.

Fun ways caregivers can help during the holidays

October 3, 2018 By Take My Hand

One of the most important things a caregiver offers is companionship — someone to be there, to listen, to share a smile, a laugh, a hug.

In addition to personal care services, at-home caregivers can also help in some pretty fun ways. With the holidays coming up, caregivers can be like Santa’s elves in Whatcom County and provide help with:

Holiday decorating to create a festive feeling at home: helping set up a small Christmas tree with lights and cherished ornaments, or putting up Christmas lights and setting out nativity scenes, favorite table cloths and other decorations.
Shopping for holiday supplies and gifts.
Baking or cooking favorite holiday recipes — old classics or finding new ones to share. Who doesn’t love the smell of fresh-baked cookies or a pumpkin pie in the oven? We all know how warm and cozy the delicious smells of baking and cooking makes a home feel. These foods can be enjoyed at home or brought to a gathering to share with family or friends.
Writing and mailing holiday cards to stay in touch. At-home caregivers can help with writing notes inside the cards, addressing the envelopes, and dropping them in the mailbox.
Listening to and singing Christmas carols, or maybe even going out to a local performance of carolers or the Nutcracker.
An early evening drive to see the magic of Christmas light displays in Lynden or downtown Bellingham.
Watching favorite, classic holiday movies and sharing memories.
Arts and crafts projects to keep your loved one’s creativity engaged. These projects can be suited to each individuals’ abilities so they can enjoy the activity. Some of these (ornaments, handmade cards, watercolor paintings) might even make sentimental gifts.
Arranging and driving to special visits with friends and family.
Bucket list trips, something your loved one has always wanted to do — going to an art museum (such as the The Whatcom Museum in Bellingham), a theater performance, sculpture garden, sporting event or classic car show. There are many possibilities. Maybe even talking with your mom or dad to find out what kinds of things they have always wanted to do and then making a list.

The holidays can bring a mix of emotions and memories, and loneliness can often increase during the holiday season. As you and your family are extra busy with shopping and other outings, licensed caregivers can provide companionship and festive holiday experiences for your aging loved ones.

The simple presence of someone there who cares can make a huge difference in the life of an older adult. To find out more about home companion services, contact Take My Hand At-Home Care, which provides elder care for senior citizens in the following communities: Lynden, Bellingham, Ferndale, Blaine, Everson, Nooksack, Sumas and Birch Bay.

Has your loved one been socially isolated this winter? It’s time to get out.

March 7, 2018 By Take My Hand

Spring is almost here.

Given the wet, cold winters we have in the Pacific Northwest, it’s common for the elderly — for all people, really — to hibernate through the winter, staying inside where it’s warm and dry.

For the elderly, staying at home through the colder months can mean being isolated from friends and family. Social isolation is unhealthy; in fact, it’s a risk factor for depression among older adults, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.

To be honest, sitting at home alone for too long can lead to negative consequences for both mind and body. Maybe your loved ones are stewing over the idea that “my kids never come see me.” Perhaps they overthink about aches and pains. The New York Times even recently reported that loneliness may be a preclinical sign for Alzheimer’s disease. And not only that, isolation also may be linked to decreasing ability to care for oneself. Consider this statement:

“Among older people who reported they felt left out, isolated or lacked companionship, the ability to perform daily activities like bathing, grooming and preparing meals declined and deaths increased over a six-year study period relative to people who reported none of these feelings.”

Who needs that? Instead, let’s let the spring sun melt away your loved one’s winter doldrums. Encourage them to get up, get out and have some fun this spring.

With the warming weather, there’s never been a better time to encourage your elderly loved ones to get out of the house and out into the world. Take them for a walk through Whatcom County’s gorgeous scenery — maybe to Hovander Homestead Park or along the Bay to Baker trail into downtown Everson. Help them run errands to Haggen or Hoagland’s. Take them to see a movie at the Pickford or to reminisce about rotary telephones at SPARK Museum of Electrical Invention. Whatcom County is packed with fun things to see and do!

If you need any assistance getting your loved one out and about — or even encouraging them to leave the house — please feel free to give Take My Hand At Home Care a call. Our licensed and qualified nurses are experts in caring for the elderly throughout Whatcom County, and we’d be happy to help.

Four ways to say ‘I love you’ to the elderly

February 7, 2018 By Take My Hand

Search Pinterest for quotes about love, and you’re likely to come across some version of the following statement: “There are a million ways of saying ‘I love you’: ‘Watch your step.’ ‘Get some rest.’ ‘Put your seatbelt on.’”

It’s true; there are myriad ways of showing your loved ones exactly how much you care. With that in mind, we thought it would be nice — it is the month of love, after all — to offer a few ways of saying “I love you” to the elderly in your life.

Essentially, they all come down to one thing: time. When it comes to gifts, physical presents typically aren’t ideal — they often just clutter up the home. Instead of things, here are some time-based gifts you can share with the elderly in your life:

Cook and serve a meal. More even than the food, which itself can make a large impact, the benefit to cooking and serving a meal to an elderly loved one is that you simply took the time to do it. Loved ones will enjoy spending time with you as they try out a new dish or enjoy an old favorite. After the meal, be sure to clean up and wash the dishes!

Look through old photos together and chat about memories. Once you’ve done this, you’ll probably be asking yourself why you haven’t done it more often.

These reminisce-and-gab sessions can be a treasure, and they’ll probably also lead to stories you’ve never heard before about family history.

Take them for a walk and/or help them run errands. Let’s face it: Moving around gets harder the older we get. Without someone to help, we can lose trust in our ability to walk without falling. Helping loved ones enjoy the great outdoors — and maybe accomplish a few tasks while they’re at it, like picking up a prescription or buying groceries — can really make their week. Give it a chance, and it’ll probably make yours, too!

Set up a complimentary in-home assessment with a licensed caregiver. A no-obligation, completely free consultation with an at-home care provider like Take My Hand At Home Care can help loved ones discover areas to make life more enjoyable. A typical assessment will cover a number of topics, including:

Home safety: Is the home safe for your loved one to age in place?
Daily routines: What does your loved one like to do on a daily basis, and what are his or her personal preferences? What are your loved one’s personal background, interests, family and hobbies?
Medical needs: What medications are being taken, and what other medical information is important? Does your loved one need assistance with doctor visits?
Service cost: What is the cost of at-home care services, and what insurance will cover it?

For more information, contact the licensed caregivers at Take My Hand At Home Care in Lynden.