Take My Hand At Home

At Home Care

Is now the right time to choose at-home care?

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For most of us, there will come a time in our lives when our parents – the reliable and strong adults who took care of us as children – will need care of their own. It might be short-term, such as after surgery or a hospital stay. Or it may be longer-term, as parents face aging in place challenges like needing help with personal care or household tasks that have become harder with time.  

Although the thought of bringing in a caregiver from outside of your family might initially bring up some uncomfortable feelings, exploring some level of at-home care might be important for your loved one’s well-being. 

While you or a parent might be resistant, choosing at-home care assistance in meeting your loved one’s needs can relieve you or other family members of full-time caregiving burdens while preserving privacy and dignity by leaving care to a trained, non-related professional. 

Take My Hand At-Home Care provides help at home from licensed Whatcom County caregivers for elderly or disabled individuals. Services are customized to each client’s needs.  

Hospital discharge planning, which provides post-op care for those who’ve recently left Bellingham’s PeaceHealth St. Joseph Medical Center, is another great service Take My Hand caregivers offer. 

Caregivers can help with a variety of non-medical care, including meal preparation, medication reminders and prescription pickups, personal hygiene and supervised mobility. In addition, light housekeeping can include such tasks as cleaning laundry, washing dishes and changing bed linens. Take My Hand caregivers also can tackle household errands, grocery shopping and pet care, and they even can assist in social hobbies such as light gardening, crafts or holiday decorating. 

At-home care benefits also extend to the bank account, as hourly care can be less expensive than a higher level of care offered at assisted living or long-term care facilities. When working with at-home caregivers, clients pay only for the level of care they need. 

If this type of care sounds like something you or a parent could benefit from, Take My Hand offers complimentary and confidential home care assessments at no obligation. These at-home care assessments help determine what level of care may be needed while ensuring that Take My Hand is a good fit.  

While beginning at-home care is another of life’s transitions, it doesn’t have to be an overly burdensome or stressful one, and its benefits can leave you and your loved one feeling more at ease during an important life phase. 

Aging is something each of us will face, and there’s no need for shame or guilt if a little extra help is needed. Contact Take My Hand to learn more. 

Don’t miss your yearly checkup

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Don’t overlook the value of a yearly health screening.

There’s a reason we’re told so see the doc at least once a year as we age: the older our bodies get, the more they can start to break down. A regular checkup can help identify unknown issues before they become serious.

Even if you feel healthy, you still should visit your health care provider at least once a year. During a regular checkup, your doctor likely will take care of such important issues as screening for medical issues, assessing potential future health care needs, updating vaccinations and encouraging any health-focused changes that might be necessary.

If your health is great, you’ll feel relieved. And if there’s something you need to take care of, you’ll be thankful you caught it early.

For example, did you know that other than getting it checked, there’s no reliable way to tell whether you have high blood pressure? That’s one reason high blood pressure is known as the “silent killer,” causing damage to your circulatory system and leading to potential heart attacks and strokes without you even knowing it. At a checkup, your doctor will identify whether you have high blood pressure — and, if so, what to do about it.

Plus, regular checkups can help you get to know your doctor better, which can be comforting if you ever have an illness or emergency.

In addition to a regular health checkup, older men also should consider regular screenings for cholesterol, colorectal cancer and diabetes, among others. Women also should consider regular breast cancer screenings. Your health provider will let you know what screenings are important for you specifically, based on your health and history.

Related: Five simple ways seniors can lower cholesterol

With Father’s Day coming up, how about a checkup as an outside-of-the-box gift idea?

The joke about belts, ties and wallets is that dads often need them but would rarely buy them for themselves. Setting your dad up with a health checkup could be something like that, too. If your dad has been dragging his feet about seeing his doc for a look-over, helping him set that up could be a needed gift.

Another good idea could be signing up for long-term care help at home. At-home care visits from a certified nursing assistant can give you piece of mind that medication is being monitored, groceries are stocked, and daily needs are being met.

You both will be thankful for that.

ADUs can be part of cost-effective option for eldercare

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As we age, the options for health care and assistance only get more expensive. Nursing home care, for example, can cost $90,000 to $100,000 per year in Washington state. Assisted living can cost approximately $50,000 per year and up.

However, one option for caring for aging parents and loved ones is to add an accessory dwelling unit, or ADU, to your property to aid in the provision of at-home care. Doing so allows families to keep their aging loved ones nearby, not only being able to oversee their care but also to spend more time with them as they age.

ADUs have been around the Whatcom County area for a long time. The rules for ADUs — whether free-standing structures or finished basements or attics — can vary depending on your location, so it’s important to check with your local jurisdiction before getting started. The rules in Bellingham are different than the rules in Lynden, Ferndale and unincorporated Whatcom County.

In general, here are some options you might consider when thinking about adding an ADU to your property to help care for an aging loved one at home:

  • Refinish a basement or attic. Especially after children grow up and move out, homeowners often find themselves with extra space inside their homes that can be remodeled to accommodate a loved one. Adding a bathroom and small kitchen to a finished basement, for example, can turn unneeded storage or play space into important living quarters for a loved one.
  • Buy a prefabricated ADU to place behind your house. As ADUs become increasingly popular, more and more companies are offering prefab ADUs — built to your specifications — that can be sited on your property with minimal construction costs and delays. At a cost of less than one year in a nursing home, a gorgeous prefab ADU could provide years of comfortable living. A prefab accessory dwelling unit can provide some autonomy and privacy while also keeping loved ones nearby.
  • Convert a shed or detached garage to a “granny flat” or cottage dwelling. Do you have a shed or garage on your property that’s just storing unused junk? Converting it to an accessory dwelling unit could be a wonderful way to reclaim that wasted space.

No matter what type of ADU you decide on as an alternative for assisted living, remember to check your local government’s website or put in a phone call to find out exactly what rules and regulations govern the construction of an ADU on your property.

You’ll also want to consider how to get your loved one the help he or she needs. Will family members be providing the care, or will you hire part-time help to assist with activities of daily living, such as grocery shopping, transportation to doctor visits, cooking and more? For information on how Take My Hand At-Home Care might be able to help provide care in your new ADU, please feel free to give us a call.

Should I take my parent out of assisted living during COVID-19?

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Assisted living can be a wonderful way to ensure that loved ones get the care they need as they age.

Many assisted living and skilled nursing centers offer a robust level of care while also doing what they can to ensure that those who live there are able to retain some independence and live life as “normally” as possible.

However, the COVID-19 pandemic has radically altered how assisted living facilities can operate. State and federal guidelines regarding the management of care centers have severely restricted visits with family members and even hampered how much residents can see and talk with each other within the facilities.

In fact, these restrictions have led many families to think about removing their mom or dad from long-term care to help ensure that loved ones aren’t isolated and lonely while they wait out the pandemic.

Is removing a loved one from assisted living during COVID-19 something you have been considering? Or maybe you’ve been thinking about placing mom or dad in assisted living, but during the pandemic you’re not certain it’s a good idea?

Here are a few questions you might want to ponder:

  • If you take a loved one out of long-term care, how will he or she receive the necessary care? Regular visits from an at-home care provider could be one way to ensure that your loved one’s daily needs are met during COVID-19. Or perhaps you will be providing the care yourself. Either way, you’ll want to have a plan in place before you decide to move mom or dad — and one that includes where your loved one will stay.
  • Are you worried about your loved one’s state of mind? Loneliness can have drastically negative consequences for older adults. If you fear that your loved one spends too much time alone due to COVID-19 restrictions, bringing them home — where kids and grandkids can pop by any time for a socially distanced visit — might be a good choice.
  • What are your long-term care facility’s policies? If your loved one is currently in assisted living, check to find out what policies and procedures are currently in place regarding visitation, infection prevention and other issues. This article from NextAvenue includes other great questions to ask a current or prospective long-term care facility.
  • Do you have a long-term lease set up? If you’re locked into an agreement of any kind, you’ll want to think about the potential costs of leaving early. You’ll also want to consider whether your loved one can be readmitted to the assisted living facility down the road.
  • What will you do when the pandemic is behind us? When COVID-19 has run its course, or when governments allow the return of some of the freedoms of yesteryear, will your loved one continue to live at home? Will you need to line up a long-term home or apply for admission to assisted living? Will you continue to make use of at-home care to provide for your loved one in the comfort of home?

The pandemic and its related lockdowns haven’t had nearly the effects on at-home care that they’ve had on assisted living centers. Here at Take My Hand At-Home Care in Lynden, we certainly are being cautious to avoid spreading COVID-19, but we’re generally able to continue as before, caring for people in their homes and helping them conduct essential duties throughout Whatcom County. Government restrictions on health care facility operations, on the other hand, have forced larger changes.

Are those changes big enough to cause you to consider caring for a parent or loved one at home? The choice is yours, and we hope this post has given you a few good considerations to ponder.

Related: What are the differences between communal living and at-home care?

Differences between communal living and at-home care

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Nearly 9 in 10 elderly people want to live at home for as long as possible, according to the AARP.

Why?

There are many reasons why a person might choose to age in place rather than move to an assisted living center or other communal living arrangement: cost, independence and the level of personal care needed all have a role in the decision-making process.

One of the most  obvious reasons why individuals might choose to live at home instead of in a communal facility is that it’s what they’ve always known. Living in their own home is what they’re used to; it’s comfortable. They can sleep in their own bed, use their own kitchen, enjoy the window views they’re familiar with and more. Whether it’s in Lynden, Ferndale, Bellingham, Everson or somewhere else, home is… home.

Related: Is your mom or dad ready for care?

Here are some other simple – but important – reasons why people might want to age in place:

  • Not having to share sleeping spaces. Among the simple benefits of living at home is not having to share a room with other elderly residents. Living at home means more privacy, more individual freedom. An at-home caregiver can provide services in support of the individual’s independence, offering as much or as little care as is desired.
  • Being able to set the heat. Living at home means being in control of your home. It may seem simple to be able to set the heat to one’s desired comfort level, to listen to music (or not) when desired or to turn on or off the lights when needed. But in a communal living environment, those choices aren’t always possible. There’s good reason for that, of course; in an assisted living home, the needs of many people must be met at once. At home, there’s just one person whose needs are most important.
  • Choosing what and when to eat. Communal living offers the convenience of having all meals prepared and served by someone else. That can free up an individual’s time for other activities. However, there’s some loss of choice in that, and many older people choose to have an at-home caregiver help with meal preparation – and even grocery shopping, too – to enable them to retain control over dining options.
  • Maintaining easy access to family and friends. Living at home, there are no restrictions on visiting hours. There is no need to keep voices down, meet in shared spaces or limit who is allowed to visit. Instead, family and friends can continue to visit grandma as they always have – at grandma’s house.

Of course, these aren’t the only things to consider when deciding between aging in place or moving to an assisted living facility. Cost can be a factor, as can the amount of care needed and the ease of completing activities of daily living. For some people, medical or other needs are great enough that moving to an assisted living center is the right choice. For many others, an at-home caregiver can be brought in to provide whatever assistance is needed, extending the amount of time that older people can continue to live at home – which, as we’ve seen, many people want to do.

Related: How can I fulfil mom’s desire to live at home?

Help! I have questions about caring for an aging parent.

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As we’ve mentioned before in previous TMH Client Profiles, at Take My Hand At-Home Care we hear often from adults who are wondering when and how to decide that mom or dad needs a higher level of personal care and attention.

These certainly are not easy decisions to make, and every situation is different. But read on for an example situation that may include elements of what you’re going through. Perhaps it will help you make those important decisions.

Mom is still pretty active. She lives nearby, so sometimes I accompany her to doctor visits in Bellingham or take her shopping, but she typically can do those things just fine on her own.

The other day, when we were working in her garden, she mentioned that she loves her home — she’s lived in the same home in Lynden for 50 years, after all — and doesn’t want to leave. When she eventually needs care, she said, she wants to stay at home. She doesn’t want to be moved to a long-term care center or assisted living facility; she’d rather just stay right at home.

The problem is that I’m not able to spend the time caring for her that probably would be required. I have a family of my own to care for, and I have to go to work every day, too. How can I meet mom’s desires to stay home while also being sure that she’s taken care of? Sometimes it keeps me up at night.

This is a common concern. Adults in the sandwich generation — those who are sandwiched between caring for aging parents and caring for their own young children — often find themselves having to make difficult decisions about how to spend their time and money. Do I sacrifice my family time to spend evenings and weekends caring for mom? Do I dip into our family savings to pay for upgrades to mom’s home so she can age in place? How do I even know when mom is ready for extra assistance around the home?

No single solution is a perfect fit for every family here in Whatcom County. However, there are some good options for adult children in situations like this to consider:

  • Set up a consultation with a home care provider to discuss your situation. A trained provider with experience in at-home care situations can take a look at your loved one’s situations and offer personalized advice. Take My Hand offers complimentary in-home assessments for folks in Lynden, Ferndale, Bellingham and throughout Whatcom County.
  • Ask an at-home care provider for part-time shifts to cover basic needs. This would help your mom or dad get used to the idea of having people other than family members in the home. Plus, part-time home care would help set a baseline for the care needed. At-home care situations can be new for everyone, and starting off slowly is often a good idea.
  • Caregivers like us are fond of saying that the best caregivers are those who are able to care for themselves and meet their own needs. Honestly, that’s critically important. If you, as a family caregiver, are constantly giving and never receiving, you’re going to run your own batteries so low that you won’t be able to help anyone. Please know that your family — spouse, kids, yourself — needs and deserves your attention, so don’t feel guilty if you can’t be with your aging parent as much as they might like.
  • Independence and self-sufficiency are good things for older adults. We try to keep them from becoming reliant on outside help too early; if they can do something for themselves, let them and encourage them! Of course, pay close attention to signs that they might need extra help — increasing bouts of forgetfulness, difficulty getting around, declining eyesight, lack of ability to process and understand doctors’ orders, etc. — and step in when necessary, but don’t feel obligated to help just because your parents are getting older.
  • Now is a great time to start considering payment options for long-term care. You never know what you might need in the future, and how much it might cost. Consider your family financial situation and the amount of money mom and dad have saved up and start investigating options that might work for you. Long-term care insurance can be a good choice, as can Medicare and private-pay options.

If you’d like to have a discussion about any of these aspects of eldercare in Whatcom County, please feel free to give us a call or send an email.

Moving? Consider holding a downsizing party

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Elderly people poring over tables full of odds and ends.

Living in a place for any length of time inevitably means accumulating stuff. It happens to the best of us. Dishes, travel mementos, linens and furniture — over time, it builds up.

In addition to the items we use daily, we also have a bunch of other possessions in our Whatcom County homes that, for whatever reason, we’ve never been able to part with. According to Psychology Today, the reasons we collect and keep things fall into the following categories:

  • We are keeping replacement parts in case an item breaks.
  • We are collectors of things.
  • We think that the items we have are worth money — or will be someday.
  • The items have sentimental value because they evoke positive memories.
  • We claim that some items have a useful purpose or will in the future, even if they don’t right now.
  • We find that it takes too much time and effort to decide what to get rid of.

That last point is key: When it comes time to move, how do we decide what to keep from among all that we’ve collected, and how do we part with the rest?

Here are three steps to follow:

Take time

First, it’s important to give ourselves time and space to make these decisions. It’s best not to wait until the last minute. After all, how to dispense of the items we’ve collected over the years can be among the last things on our minds when we’re having to make the difficult and emotion-laden decision to move.

Determine what we need and have space for

Second, we need to determine how much we can (and should) bring with us. Whether we’re moving into a smaller home in Bellingham, transitioning to assisted living in Lynden or taking up residence in a mother-in-law apartment on our kids’ property in Ferndale, we’re naturally going to need and/or have space for fewer possessions. Based on the specific place of residence, we need to spend the time necessary to decide what we truly need and what space we might have for a few mementos.

Throw a downsizing party

Third, we need to find a way to part with all of the items we have left over. It sounds difficult, but honestly, this can be the most fun part of the process!

We can turn the act of parting with our stuff into an enjoyable experience by throwing a downsizing party. This article in The Washington Post offers a great example.

The fun of a downsizing party is that we can experience the joy of giving to others as part of paring our possessions into a manageable pile. Members of our church, grandkids and their friends, neighbors, friends — all would be able to take something with them that they need and that makes them think of us. What fun! We can share some of what has meant so much to us over the years, and our friends and family can have useful items to remember us by.

The idea is simple: After storing all of the items we’ll be bringing with us to our new home, we invite friends and family over for a party – to eat, talk and look over items around the house. What people want, they take! In the end, our friends get new items for their homes that they need, and we get to pare down our stuff, allowing us to move in peace.

Mindfulness meditation: What it is, and how it can help the elderly

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Have you ever considered meditation as a way to improve aspects of your health?

There are many reasons why older adults in Bellingham, Lynden or throughout Whatcom County might want to start practicing meditation. Meditation can enhance memory, slow cognitive decline, improve digestion, boost circulation, reduce stress, lower disease risk and even decrease loneliness.

At its core, meditation is a way to calm the mind and body. There are various styles of meditation, but most involve either concentration, mindfulness or both. Concentration meditation is that classic example in which we focus our minds on a single, specific thing — a sound (perhaps the ringing of a bell), an image (perhaps a flickering candle flame), an action (perhaps the repetition of a specific word) or some other focal point.

Mindfulness meditation, on the other hand, is the practice of being mindful of thoughts as they occur. Essentially, it is attentive awareness of the moment. To practice this form of meditation, we simply sit, relax and pay attention to the thoughts we have, trying not to react to them but just to observe. For a brief explanation of mindfulness meditation and how it can integrate with everyday life, watch this short video from the Western Washington University Counseling Center in Bellingham.

Let’s take a look in more detail at some of the ways that mindfulness meditation can improve the lives of older adults here in Whatcom County:

  • Less stress and worry: According to Bob Linscott from the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, meditation can help older adults tamp down worries associated with growing older. “Meditation is like a pause button that breaks the cycle of worry,” he said in an article in NextAvenue. “It can help older adults better accept their changing bodies or chronic pain. It puts them more in control of their lives.”
  • Cognitive improvements: According to research published in the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, “meditation may be able to offset normal age‐related cognitive decline or even enhance cognitive function in older adults.” The research noted preliminary improvements in attention, memory, executive function, processing speed and general cognition as a result of meditation practices.
  • Digestion enhancements: The calm, deep breathing associated with meditation boosts circulation and increases the oxygen content of the blood, both of which are important factors for digestion. What’s more, meditation can have the long-term effect of improving our mindsets, limiting the likelihood that we will overeat.
  • Decreased loneliness: A study from Carnegie Mellon University that tested older adults over an eight-week period showed that participants reported lower levels of loneliness after just 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation each day, in addition to a daylong retreat and weekly two-hour meetings. “We know that loneliness is a major risk factor for health problems and mortality in older adults,” said one of the researchers involved in the study. “This research suggests that mindfulness meditation training is a promising intervention for improving the health of older adults.”

If you’re interested in getting started with mindfulness meditation in Bellingham, Lynden, Ferndale or elsewhere in Whatcom County, there are several professional services in the area that offer courses and training in meditation, including Mindfulness Northwest, Bellingham Insight and Red Cedar Zen Community.

‘We all need others in our lives’

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[ Editor’s note: Originally published in the Lynden Tribune ]

Bernadette Millar, center, gets everyday help and also socializing with Heidi Sorensen and Sue Sorensen. Photo by Laura Place/Lynden Tribune.

For Lynden senior Bernadette Millar, meeting with her caretaker Heidi Sorensen each week not only helps her with her everyday tasks, but provides a sense of companionship. Sometimes the two go shopping together, or Heidi helps Bernadette with her bills and appointments.

Bernadette has been meeting regularly with Heidi for three years now, after being connected to the in-home care service of Take My Hand of Lynden following a visit from her son and daughter-in-law. Those relatives made the initial connection to Take My Hand, and owner Sue Sorensen (Heidi’s mother-in-law) reached out to Bernadette directly.

“I didn’t call her — she called me,” Bernadette recalled. “It came right at the right time.”

Bernadette stopped being able to drive herself around a few years ago after a bad fall that resulted in nerve damage. She said the loss of the ability to drive a vehicle was devastating, but now being able to go to the places she needs to go and get out of her condo every once in a while with Heidi gives her something to look forward to.

The care service offers assistance to seniors with various tasks based on their needs, such as taking medication, scheduling appointments and going on errands. Or, as in Bernadette’s case, the client and caretaker will just go and enjoy coffee together.

“We do everything, from companionship to end-of-life care,” Sue Sorensen said.

For Bernadette, it’s a gift to be able to get out of the house with Heidi and know all of her appointments and bills are organized. Just as important, Sue points out, is having someone to laugh with. Sitting in Woods Coffee at Bender Plaza on a Friday outing, Bernadette and Heidi laugh together about Bernadette’s favorite saying, “Can’t be bothered.”

“I thought it was ‘think positively’?” Heidi asks.

“I’m always positive!” Bernadette says back, smiling.

This companionship from a caretaker can help to combat some of the isolation and loneliness experienced by many senior citizens, making it one of the most important aspects of the service offered by Take My Hand, Sue Sorensen said. Even just going on outings a couple of times a week gives clients something to look forward to.

“It’s a big deal for them, to get out of the house,” Sorensen said of the clients who are assisted by Take My Hand. “We all want to be independent, but we all need others in our lives.”

Take My Hand At-Home Care can be reached at 360-543-5777 and online at takemyhandathome.com.

So, your parents have refused help. Now what?

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As our parents and other elderly loved ones age, it’s common for us to increase in concern for their well-being. Perhaps we’re nervous about their ability to drive safely, or we’re careful to ensure that they attend all necessary appointments with their doctor.

Our concern is one of the biggest reasons we begin suggesting that our parents start thinking of assistance — we want to be sure they get needed at-home help with daily tasks, or we want them to live in a place where their needs are attended to on a regular basis.

But what can we do if they refuse help? It’s true that many of our elderly loved ones reject the idea of care, wanting to remain independent, to save on the cost of assistance, or for some other reason.

Here are a few tips that may help when you have “the talk” with your loved ones about care:

Listen and try to see things from their perspective. Aging can be scary. Having to rely on others can be frightening. Your loved one might be anxious about feeling helpless or guilty about being a burden to others. Take time to listen to their concerns and try to empathize with how they feel.

Patiently discuss what help around the home might look like. It may help to look at specific aspects of life with your loved one and discuss how things might be improved with good assistance. The elderly often don’t realize that they’re ready for assistance until they’re able to understand how at-home care can help them accomplish important daily or weekly tasks.

Gently suggest that your loved one might appreciate help doing the weekly shopping, picking up prescriptions, cleaning the house or getting out of the house for a walk now and then. People can reject having decisions made for them. Discuss the many options available to your parents — from occasional care in the comfort of home to full-time care in an assisted living center — and try to let them decide for themselves where in that range they might be.

Regarding at-home care, it’s good to remember that it can be adjusted to the needs of the individual, so it can be as involved (or not) as necessary. Say a loved one doesn’t want assistance because he or she feels it will be too restricting. At-home care can actually increase a person’s freedom by freeing them up to do what they love, and/or assist them in it.

Learn more: Is your mom or dad ready for care?

Share your concerns and discuss various healthcare options. Here is where you can share specific areas of concern that you have for your loved one. Often, hearing about this concern from a beloved child or friend can have a big impact. If you’ve been the primary caregiver but no longer have the time or energy you used to, mention that you would like to bring in other caregivers to help out.

This could be a good way to ease into the conversation about other types of care down the road, too. If you’re able to chat casually about future healthcare decisions before they’re imminent, you’ll all be much more ready to have that talk when it does come.

Learn more: The benefits of at-home care

Get advice from an outside expert. In our in-home consultations, we try to understand what’s best for each client, even if it means that caregivers from Take My Hand won’t be involved. If you’d like to learn more, please reach out. We would be happy to help explain the best next steps to your reluctant loved one.

Is now the right time to choose at-home care?

For most of us, there will come a time in our lives when our parents – the reliable and strong adults who took care of us as children – will need care of their own. It might be short-term, such as after surgery or a hospital stay. Or it may be longer-term, as parents face aging in place challenges like needing help with personal … [Read More...]

ABOUT US

Sue Sorensen became involved with Whatcom County eldercare and aging-in-place services in 2009. She launched Take My Hand At-Home Care in January 2012 … Read More...

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Fax: 360-255-7564
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