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How to help widowers connect with others and find new purpose in life

February 12, 2020 By Take My Hand At-Home Care

Elderly man in a sailboat on the water

Imagine one day losing the spouse you’ve had for decades.

Having lived with the same person for most of your life, the loss would be phenomenal. Not only would you lose the love of your life, you’d also need to start doing everything on your own — cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, visiting the doctor… the list goes on.

Elderly man in a jacket sitting and looking at the camera

You’d also lose a social connection and a major reason to stay involved with others in your community. Without your spouse at your side, you’d be less likely to attend events, go out for meals and travel.

Here at Take My Hand At-Home Care, we have come across numerous situations just like this. Losing a spouse later in life happens quite frequently to senior citizens in the Whatcom County community.

Not only must widows or widowers deal with the loss of a loved one, but they also must cope with major lifestyle changes. They lose the person with whom they used to watch TV or go on walks. They lose the person who used to remind them to take their medications; they lose the person who used to help them plan fun things to do. They lose their social connections.

These are all real consequences of losing a long-time partner, and the effects can be drastic.

Loneliness after the death of a spouse

According to the National Institute on Aging, social isolation and loneliness are linked to increased risks for high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease and even death.

“Losing a sense of connection and community changes a person’s perception of the world,” according to the NIA. And it’s not just perception. Biological defense mechanisms are activated in those who experience chronic loneliness because they feel threatened and mistrustful.

While older women are more likely than men to report being lonely, the effects of loneliness can be more drastic in older men, who are more likely than women to be depressed and suicidal when lonely, according to a recent study published in the American Journal of Men’s Health.

How to help people stay connected to life after loss

What can change someone’s outlook after loss?

Being social provides an enormous benefit, as does having another person around to provide support and motivation or to offer assistance with daily tasks of living. In particular, men benefit from having purpose in life, according to the AJMH study, which notes that improvements in mental health and purpose in life can help reduce loneliness — and thus reduce many of its negative consequences — in older men.

Elderly man taking photos outdoors, with mountains in the background

Pursuing hobbies and other passions is one great option for combating the consequences of loneliness. Joining a senior center, too, can help the elderly make new friends and find new hobbies. Those who have experienced recent loss might also benefit from having their family and friends take them to activities and events, or even just pick up the phone and invite them to dinner.

Filed Under: Caregiving, Elder loneliness, Local senior citizen events, Resources for senior citizens Tagged With: elder loneliness, social activities, social isolation in senior citizens

At any age, pursue your passions

July 3, 2019 By Take My Hand At-Home Care

An older woman and man hold hands while dancing in a park. Black and white photo.

Pursuing our passions is good for us.

A study of 115 people published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that when pursuing hobbies, participants’ moods were more positive, and they had lower stress and heart rates. That’s a pretty good result just for doing something you enjoy. The study’s conclusion? Leisure activities can improve a person’s health and well-being.

Our health is an important consideration throughout our lives, but as we age we start to pay even more attention to how to help our bodies and minds function as well as possible. Eating well, making friends and getting exercise are an important part of staying healthy in old age.

Read more: Five things to do now
for a happier, healthier future
.

Pursuing passions also can play a big part in maintaining good health as we age. Studies have shown that pursuing our passions does wonders for the health of our brains. According to Total Brain Health, pursuing hobbies that we enjoy and that we’re good at can be a buffer against memory loss and can lead to improved neuroplasticity, our brain’s ability to form new connections. Pursuing passions also can help improve sleep quality, lower blood pressure, and lower our risks of heart disease, stress, anxiety and depression.

But what kind of leisure activities should you pursue? How do you find your passion?

For starters, try to remember a moment when you’ve lost track of time.

“Life just feels better when you have things in your hours that you want to do,” said productivity expert Laura Vanderkam in The New York Times. “There’s moments where time almost has no meaning because we’re so happy about what we’re doing. The more time you can spend in that zone, the better life feels.”

Is there anything you love to spend hours doing or that you have to be told to stop? That’s probably something you’re passionate about, something that could be developed into a hobby that lasts long into old age.

Consider the inspiring story of the ballet dancer who’s still going strong at age 77. Why? She loves what she does.

“Life is too short not to do what you want to do,” she says in a video produced by BBC One. “It’s never too late, so start doing what you love doing now.”

Other ways to identify your passions include taking an inventory your talents (what are you good at?) and thinking of what you liked to do as a kid. Those, too, might be hobbies worth pursuing that could lead to joy and contentment long into retirement years.

Filed Under: Resources for senior citizens Tagged With: exercise, pursuing passions, social activities

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Recent Posts

  • Give dad what he really needs this Father’s Day
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